Adios, Bernie

The reason for Donald Trump’s success is simple: He actually does what generations of Republicans have said they’re going to do.  It weirds people out — the guy sounds like your typical New York Democrat, but he acts like uber-Reagan.  The best illustration: Every Republican since the 1970s has made noises about the Right to Life March, but none ever attended.  It was all just obvious lip service.  Trump, the umpteen-times-married pussy grabber, actually went.  Every other Republican talks Right, but goes Left.  Trump talks Left, Right, whatever, incoherently — and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks — but when he moves, he goes Right.  That’s why he wins.

Bernie Sanders, then, really is the Left’s Trump.  Democrats, too, talk Right and go Left.  America is a center-right country; the only way Leftists win is by pretending to be Centrists.  The Media has run the exact same playbook since the Sixties — Josef fucking Stalin could be running for President as a Democrat, and the New York Times, Washington Post, etc. would devote endless column inches to what a straight-shootin’ centrist nonpartisan he is.  Remember back in 2008, when the Media rushed to lecture us about how Obama was far more conservative than Nixon?*

But Bernie talks Left and goes Lefter.  His platform is straight outta 1904, but so is the entire Democratic Party.  Single payer health care?  They’ve been mooning over that since 1992.**  Free college?  Endless maternity leave?  Universal kindergarten and pre-K?  Back in the 1970s, all that was called “Sweden,” and the Democrats have been drooling over it for more than half a century now.  I know it’s  hard to believe, but cast your mind back to the dim dark days of 2012.  This “intersectional” crap would’ve gotten you laughed out of anywhere but the looniest college campus back then.  Hell, Bathhouse Barry Obama — a pillow-biter if ever I saw one — was still pretending to be against gay marriage back then.

Bernie’s just saying what they all believe, and have believed, for the better part of 100 years now.

That being the case, there’s no way in hell he makes it through to the party convention in Milwaukee.  As Z Man asked today, can you even imagine a debate between Trump and Sanders?  It’d sound like Reagan-Mondale round 2, which would be absolute death for Globohomo.  Both of them are just saying what their respective parties have been saying since at least 1984… but since they both obviously mean it, even the dumbest viewer will start to wonder just why neither party has managed to deliver anything.

I don’t think the Dems would be so gauche as to actually Epstein the guy….  but I sure as hell wouldn’t rule it out.  The Dems have had five years’ experience with what happens when a politician actually threatens to deliver on the standard Party talking points.  The Republicans are stuck with Trump, but the Donks will find some way to torpedo Bernie.  Bet the farm on it.   Keep your pill bottles on you at all times, Bernie, and don’t wear lace-up shoes.

 

*See why I sometimes feel like I’m living in an alternate universe?  That happened, I swear to Christ it did.  It was all over the place… but seemingly nobody remembers.
**Again, seriously: Does nobody remember that?  Hillary Clinton has been fucking up the Democratic Party since she was an Arkansas housewife.  The Contract with America was a direct result of the “Hillarycare” debacle.  Anyone?  Bueller?  Is this thing even on?
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7 thoughts on “Adios, Bernie

  1. C. S. P. Schofield

    Oh, I remember. I remember all kinds of things the Left would rather forget. I remember that the Democrats are the Party of the Confederacy and the KKK. I remember that Woodrow Wilson was an appalling bigot, and that his Attorney General made Joseph McCarthy look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.

  2. WOPR

    Biden and Warren are both done. It’s Booty, Kloubacher, and Bernie. They’ll start putting pressure on Kloubacher to drop out.

    I figure Bernie’s heart will tragically give out at some point. Too bad it was unable to pump oxygen with that pillow over his face. Sadly it happens to old people all of the time.

  3. contrariandutchman

    What I -want- to happen is a brokered convention and Herself as the “compromise candidate”.

    1. Severian Post author

      That would be hilarious, and I can see it happening, but… see above. For Herself to be seen as a viable compromise candidate, there’d have to be no proven vote getter out there. It’s increasingly likely that Bernie is going to take ALL the upcoming primaries. At which point Epsteining him is the only option, and Pete better watch his ass (sorry) as well. It’s a well-known fact that most “slipped in the shower while juggling chainsaws with a plastic bag over your head”-type accidents happen right after primary season….

      (Sadly, I don’t even think I’m kidding anymore).

      1. contrariandutchman

        we already know the democrats dont have a proven vote getter to run, except possibly Bernie

        Buttboy is the new standard bearer for the dem establishment now that Biden is done for, but blacks will not vote for him and latinos lukewarm, so he is in for a rough time as the primaries shift south.

        So, what proven vote getter could the dems rally behind at this point?

        And Herself going for round 2 would be -such- delicious entertainment

  4. MBlanc46

    Dem voters* are perhaps all in on Sweden, but the money boys who actually pay the freight have their limits. They don’t much care about the “homo” part of Globohomo, but the “Globo” part has to mean “capitalists of the world unite!” Repub voters are perhaps all in on “America First”, but the money boys who actually pay the freight have their limits. “America First” must translate as “capitalists of the world unite!” Donald Trump had enough money of his own to sidestep the money boys early in 2016 and he caught the wave of the average Repub voters. This year, they’re stuck with him. I’d bet a couple of mortgage payments that in 2024, the corporate Repubs will be doing as the DNC is doing this year, maneuvering to get one of their own back in the saddle. And, like the DNC this year, they’ll probably get what they want.

    * A great many Dem voters vote Dem because voting Dem is part of who they are. Their grandparents voted Dem. Their parents voted Dem. They vote Dem. In their heads, the Dems are the party of FDR, and Truman, and LBJ (well, minus the niqqers, anyway). Most of my (white) neighbors are in this category. Upper working class, lower middle class. The idea of voting for the party of business is completely alien to them. Worse case, they might have stayed home if Kamala Harris were the candidate.

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