[UPDATE to Option 3, below]
I know my posting has been sporadic lately, so to make it up to you, a twofer:
How do you think they’ll hide Sundown Joe in the “debates”?
I’m proceeding on the assumption that the Dems are actually going to try to “participate,” somehow, since their scheduled riots depend on at least going through the motions of an election…
…. or do they? That, in turn, presupposes at least intermittent rationality among their “leadership,” and I’m not sure that’s an assumption we can make anymore. It’s not outside the realm of possibility, then, that these lunatics go full Masada — just declare the whole process illegitimate, refuse to participate, and get the fun started much earlier than November 3. Knowing, as they must, that they’re gonna get clobbered, they might figure that any “election” at all hands Trump some kind of mandate, so why not pull the trigger now?
So that’s option 1: Full retard. They’ve already laid some of the groundwork for this by having their clickbait sites — no, the other ones, like Salon and Cracked whatnot, not the New York Times — push editorials about how dumb, useless, and divisive presidential debates are. Yahoo News even asserted that debates are just another opportunity for Trump to lie on a big stage, and therefore illegitimate. They might pull the pin on the whole enchilada.
Option 2 would be to basically boycott the debates, arguing instead that the national tv time slots that should’ve held the debates should air back-to-back long-form campaign commercials or something. If I were a Democratic Party campaign strategist — and I work cheap, comrades, call me! — I think this is the one I’d advise. Make up whatever Gook Flu bullshit you want for why you can’t have two guys standing 12 feet apart in an empty room, and push for mini-movies. Trump would be stupid to agree to this, but he might if they flatter his ego enough. The parade of celebrity bobbleheads endorsing Biden — which is all a Biden campaign commercial should ever be — would do him a lot of good, and Trump a lot of damage, because the average American voter has the calm, cool rationality of a concussed, horny chimpanzee.
The only problem with this scenario — and it’s a doozy — is that it gives Trump almost unlimited freedom of action, which is something you never want to grant your enemy. Trump has made it clear that he don’t fear no Kung Flu, and is gonna hold rallies regardless. Joe, meanwhile, will have to remain in his undisclosed basement, for fear of the virus. Which is also good for the Dems, as it keeps his mouth shut, but it’s very very far from good overall.
Option 3 would be some kind of “virtual” debate. If I had to guess, this is what they’ll probably push for, since they’ll know the questions in advance (of fucking course they will) and can surreptitiously record Joe “answering” them in his few brief daily moments of lucidity. Then they can play these back in “real time.”
There are two big problems with this, though, both humdingers. One is that, to be even halfway believable, they’ll have to script some plausible “replies” to Trump’s jabs, and as we all know, Liberals are piss poor at getting into conservatives’ headspace (malignant narcissism does that, I suppose). Given the way Liberals think Conservatives think, Biden’s “replies” are going to sound like he’s “debating” Thomas Dixon Jr.
Which feeds into the second, much larger problem: The very real possibility of a Milli Vanilli incident. You want the very same dipshits who couldn’t plausibly rig the Iowa caucuses, and were caught cloning “participants” for Kamala Harris’s livestream at the DNC convention, working some kind of realtime streaming video fake? Where they have to find, on the fly, clips of Strangely Lucid Joe plausibly “replying” to something Trump said? Blame it on the rain, boys… might as well.
[UPDATE: Just as I was putting the finishing touches on this, I saw this on Ace of Spades. Knowing that Trump will hold rallies and Biden won’t — which is a yuuuuge advantage for Trump — the Media/DNC decided to effectively make campaigning illegal. Which is a nice bit of dirty pool… except for the suggestion that Trump should hold his Nevada rally at Area 51, which is federal land. Can you imagine? Done right, the “Area 51 Rally” would immediately enter into political lore as one of the all-time great photo ops. Trump in front of blacked out hangars, simultaneously praising American R&D and the US military while trashing an obvious partisan stunt? That could be an election-winner all by itself. Please do this, Mr. President. Please. Shove it right up their asses… on second thought, don’t do that, they really enjoy that kind of thing, but you know what I mean. Go for the kill!!]
Which leaves option 4: doing whatever it takes, medically speaking, to put Joe up on that stage somehow. If I were Trump, I’d not only demand a drug test, I’d check his fucking fingerprints. Assuming it’s the real Joe up there, though, and even assuming they jack him on enough Stuka Pills to get him halfway lucid, the fun’s just starting, because then they, the High Priests of the Branch Covidians, face almost as daunting a challenge: To mask, or not to mask?
Joe up there on stage mumbling into a mask would be a bigger fiasco than Mike Dukakis’s tank ride. On the other hand, not wearing a mask lets Trump hammer him all night for flip-flopping on the Great Plague, the one that’s going to kill us all, the one on which they’re pushing all their chips in a whole passel of campaign ads. It’ll be brutal either way, but they can’t avoid picking one if they do trundle his old perv ass out there.
So, gang: Which one do you think they’ll choose? Or is there something else? Discuss!Loading Likes...