If y’all don’t feel like discussing another long post on football — can’t say as I blame you — here’s this:
One common consequence of long-term steroid use is gynecomastia, “the abnormal non-cancerous enlargement of one or both breasts in males due to the growth of breast tissue as a result of a hormone imbalance between estrogen and androgen.” Since anabolic steroids are basically just synthetic testosterone, your body ramps up estrogen production to compensate. Bodybuilders call the phenomenon “bitch tits.”
Assuming yourself always and everywhere to be the target of sinister forces is the Internet equivalent of bitch tits.
I saw it all the time back in my professing days. Every single thing in a college town is “bold” and “edgy” and “challenging” and “provocative” and, of course “transgressive”… except it isn’t. It’s all the same weak, tired shit they’ve been crapping out since the Sixties. There was a time, I suppose — somewhere between March and October of 1967 — where putting Che Guevara’s face on a t-shirt was some kind of “challenging” or “transgressive” act. Then everyone got one, so much so that it’s not even so-lame-it’s-cool hipster kitsch these days (which is one subterranean bar, comrades)…. except in the faculty lounge, where you can still see all kinds of Communist shit all over professors’ office doors.
And so on down the line: Piss Christ was trite back in 1987, The Vagina Monologues was old and busted even when it was new back in 1996, and so on. At least Andres Serrano, the huckster behind Piss Christ, had the marketing savvy to pretend that his obviously-designed-to-offend “art work” wasn’t obviously designed to offend: “I had no idea Piss Christ would get the attention it did, since I meant neither blasphemy nor offense by it. I’ve been a Catholic all my life, so I am a follower of Christ.” Only an egghead would be stupid enough to believe that, but they do, since they still think Piss Christ, The Vagina Monologues, etc. are hot stuff on campus.
Trust me, gang, for anything playing at the campus arthouse theater, I could give you the title and the one-sentence marketing blurb — “stunning!” — and you could give me the subject matter, the plot, and large stretches of dialogue, sight unseen.
It’s deeply silly to normal people, of course, but it’s central to eggheads’ self-concept. Deep down they know that they are dull, sheltered, profoundly boring people that nobody would listen to if they didn’t need the class to graduate. Compared to your average academic, Pollyanna is as cynical and streetwise as a Newark cabbie. The greatest physical danger they have ever braved is a nasty papercut; the most consequential interpersonal interaction, a tiff with the tenure committee. They crave drama, but are light years away from anything even approaching it…
…so they make some up. By pretending that the same trite, formulaic, utterly predictable CultMarx PoMo crap they’ve been doing for half a century is “bold” and “transgressive,” they give their sad little lives some meaning. When it comes to total, utter, crushing defeats, putting a trannie in high government office is like salting the earth where Carthage once stood. They won. It’s over — it has been over since probably 1973 at the latest. But they can’t let it go, because that would mean admitting that they’re as pointless and boring as we all think they are. So they pretend that Jerry Falwell and the Legion of Decency are just over the hill, pitchforks and nooses in hand, and are going to be rushing the quad any minute now.
So, too, with the constant cry of “Fed!!!” in Our Thing. I hate to break it to you, gang, but you’re just not that important. Here, I’ll prove it to you. Let’s say we all decide to have a Dirty Two Dozen Readers’ Meetup. Are the Feds going to infiltrate us? How, exactly, would they do that? Are there any White agents left at the Feeb? And if there are, are there any Special Agents in Charge who will dare to put it in a memo: “I’m sorry, commander, but as you well know, this is a group of CisHetPat Pale Penis People. Diversity mandates be damned, if we’re going to get them, we must send in Bob!”
It’s all just manufactured drama-rama. I know it feels special, falling under the Eye of Sauron like that… but it’s pretty damn unlikely.
(of course, that’s exactly the kind of thing a FED!!!! would say, isn’t it? Bwahahahahaha!!)Loading Likes...