As y’all know, the Dim Devil’s Dictionary (D3) exists to put catchy tags on the characteristically dumb shit lefties do. I’m nowhere near the wordsmith Morgan is, so I’m asking for your help. We need a word for the following scenario:
You know how, when you’re tired or stressed, you sometimes think you’ve actually done something you only intended to do? I’m pretty sleep-deprived these days, and I find this happening all the time. I walk by the dishwasher, say, and remind myself to flip it on. Then I get distracted, so the next time I’m in the kitchen I think “oh, don’t forget to start the dishwasher”… but I never actually do, but I think I did, and when I come into the kitchen the next morning, I’m halfway to pouring a glass of OJ before I realize that I’m about to chug down some horrid glop that’s been sitting with the used plates for three days. Hey, what the heck is wrong with the dishwasher?
I can’t be the only one that happens to….?
Anyway, assuming that’s fairly typical and not just another one of my many endearing quirks, that process — that sort of amnesia-by-intention — could be useful in understanding some upcoming leftist behavior, and explain some past behavior.
For example, Global Cooling was the hip enviro-scare of the 1970s. Then it was Global Warming, and now it seems we’re back to Global Cooling again. The same “science,” with the exact same proposed solution — global socialism, natch — but diametrically opposite conclusions.
Now, no climate “””””scientist””””” worth his grant money is ever going to acknowledge the obvious about the temperatures — that these are natural sun cycles — because that would mean he’s no longer on the government tit. Similarly, no liberal is going to acknowledge the obvious about the solution — that any excuse for socialism will do — because that would mean they’re just plain ol’ partisans, not deepthinking intellectuals filled with profound mindthoughts. So what’s a good activist to do? In order to criticize everyone for being against “science” today, you have to completely forget what “science” said just yesterday! The stress would cause a lesser brain to explode, and it’s things like this that long led me to conclude that cognitive dissonance is bullshit.
But now I think maybe that intention-amnesia thing is to blame. Just like I’m sure I turned the dishwasher on, maybe Our Betters, the Liberals, are convinced that they’ve thought it through. And just as my first thought isn’t “I forgot to turn the dishwasher on,” but instead “gosh, the dishwasher must be broke,” so perhaps the fact that it’s a “”””scientist”””” saying so lets them slide over the contradictions….?
I’m just spitballin’ here, but we all know that they do this. And we know they’re not lying. Not really — when confronted with an obvious contradiction in their story, liars get shifty and evasive. They start talking very, very fast. Liberals don’t — they double down. They know we’ve always been at war with Eastasia, damn it. Perhaps this is the mechanism.
We’re going to see another dramatic example of this here very shortly. Conservatives, as we know, make sure their principles conform to reality. This is why you see guys like Ronald Reagan switching parties — “I didn’t leave the Democratic Party,” he famously remarked, “the party left me.” You never see “progressives” doing this, because they try to make reality conform to their “principles.” They’re so caught up in their identities as “progressives” that it doesn’t matter a whit what “progressive” means today. When the zeitgeist changes, they change with it… and as soon as they figure out which way the wind is blowing, they sprint out in front of it, so that they can be the “progressives” again.
Thanks to fine folks like Syed Farook, Tashfeen Malik, and the rampaging rapists currently flooding into Northern Europe, the zeitgeist is about to shift very far, very fast. I honestly would not be surprised if actual pitchfork-toting mobs started storming faculty lounges. It won’t be too long before saying “So-and-So likes ‘diversity'” will be the equivalent of calling him a racist today. And, of course, our “progressives” will have to sprint out in front of that, so that they can be “progressives” again. Today’s blue-haired bicurious vegan slam poet is tomorrow’s obergruppenfuhrer.
We’re going to need a word for that, the mental process that must happen in the few seconds between peeling off the “Coexist” bumper sticker and pasting on the Confederate flag.