Not hypothetical this time.
In the “Column Suggestions” comments, contrariandutchman suggested “What would Comrade Ilyich do in the current situation?” He wouldn’t let a crisis go to waste, that’s for damn sure. He’d mobilize people to simple, direct action, and he’d hold the fucking line. I’m no Ulyanov, but I can suggest a few simple things we Dissidents can do:
Get on Facebook, Twitter, etc. I know, but look: The Feds, the Chinese, the Korean gangsters… they’ve got your info already. Use a burner email if it makes you feel better, since these are going to be burner social media accounts anyway. Jump on there, take a few simple steps to make it look realistic (see below), friend everyone you’ve ever come in contact with, and hashtag the shit out of them: #CancelChina. #BuyAmerican. (I’d love to use #GrowAPair, but that’s probably too on the nose). In between posting a few “personal” things for kayfabe, you should be reposting every single meme that highlights a) the Chinese origin of the virus, and b) the colossal stupidity of the American government “response.”
Y’all, this stuff works. Even with all the caveats about online marketing being a giant fraud — and oh boy is it — people really do get so many of their social signals from social media. Why do you think SJWs spend so much time policing Twitter? Like the man said, SJWs always project. They worry about the Twitter sheeple being led astray by dank memes, because they themselves are led around by their nose rings by dank memes. The key is to stand strong. They’ll call you a racist for
talking meme-ing about closing the borders. Your response? “So you’d rather my family die of some foreign infection than take sensible measures to #ControlTheSpread. That’s cool. I know you don’t have any kids or close friends, but normal people do. #CancelChina.”
Cards on the table: You know how I keep saying that today’s blue-haired, nose-ringed SJW is tomorrow’s obergruppenfuhrer? Well, the day has finally arrived, kameraden. These “people” (in the loosest biological sense) can only feel alive by being sanctimonious on social media. As I’ve written before (the NPC guide; check the archives) they’re worried to death that they’re not really real. The retweets and upvotes they get for their emotional incontinence is the only thing that convinces them they’re tethered to Planet Earth (and not some glitch in the Matrix). Use that. Nudge their sanctimony in the right direction. It’s like stampeding the herd — all you have to do is get two or three to panic in your chosen direction, and you can run them right off the cliff.
They want to be obergruppenfuhrers. LET THEM. Make it easy for them. It’s far too late to avert American fascism – it’s already here. The best we can do is emphasize the “autarky” bit. We’ll never get a better chance.
You do, of course, have to make some effort to make your profile look real. Favorite some stuff. Facebook, for instance, leads you through a whole series of questionnaires. What music do you like? Movies? TV shows? That kind of thing. Have some fun with it, but try not to be too obvious about it. Don’t make “Whitesnake” your favorite band, “Whitey Ford” your favorite sportsman, “Nights in White Satin” your favorite song, “Arian Foster” your favorite ex-running back, etc. Ok, sure, do some of that — destroying the SJWs is supposed to be fun, after all — but the goal is not to get caught out as a bot. Actually interact with some of your old classmates from high school, or whoever you end up “friending.” You can find out pretty quickly that way who’s reachable, and who has swallowed all the kool-aid.
Above all, target women. Safety-at-all-costs is a chick thing, and while lots of “people” (again: biology) of both sexes and all 57+ genders have turned into chicks over this, you’ll have the best luck with biological females. They set the social tone, so they really boost the signal. Turn a few of them into obergruppenfuhrers, and the stosstrupp organization will take care of itself. You can buy another piece of cheap plastic Chinese crap that breaks in two weeks, or you can spend that money on healthy, locally-sourced food for your kids. Keep America Safe!!!
And finally: hold the fucking line. Ulyanov, Mustache Guy… most of their political genius consisted of knowing when to compromise, and when to stand firm. Their many, many detractors insisted they’d destroyed the Party when they held out for total power when the chips were down. We know how that worked out. Yeah, they’ll call you racists. Yes, they’ll threaten to unfriend you (big whoop — it’s a burner account). They might even report you to the Facebook or Twitter police, get you banned. So fucking what? Get back out there! If you pick your shots, if you don’t friend too many obvious kool-aid drinkers on the first go (nose rings and rainbow hair are sure tells), most people won’t narc on you, because people are herd animals and don’t want to stand out.
All of this can be done from the comfort of your own basement, loaded shotgun at your side, watching the fires from the Diversity Riots downtown. You’ll never get a better chance to actually do something for Dissent in America. It’s perfectly legal and completely free. Do what Ulyanov would’ve.Loading Likes...