Back on Rotten Chestnuts 1.0, I mentioned a game I like to play when I’m looking for an excuse to get dead drunk. It’s called “If They Were Serious.” The rules are simple: You pick something the Left freaks out about. Then you think what simple, basic, obvious things a person who took that thing seriously would do. Then you note all the ways the Left isn’t doing those things, taking a sip for each one. Then you note all the ways the Left is, in fact, doing the exact opposite of those simple, basic, obvious things — those are worth a shot each. And then you quote Dylan Thomas.
Global Warming was always fun. If They Were Serious, they wouldn’t be doing… pretty much everything they are currently doing, since what they’re currently doing — living in mansions, traveling everywhere by private jet, etc. — is pretty much the exact opposite of what anyone who took Global Warming remotely seriously would do. COVID is, of course, another– yes, by all means, wear those masks everywhere, especially since we’re assured by all the most expert Experts that the virus lives on surfaces for days, weeks, maybe months. So, you know, carrying your own mobile biohazard with you everywhere you go, instead of burning those goddamn things in secure facilities while wearing MOPP-4 gear… you get my point.
And since we all could stand to get gutter-puking drunk these days, let’s play “If They Were Serious” with Our Democracy ™. What on earth could they ever do to restore anyone’s faith in voting?
Let’s say the current “takeover” (which you don’t need a tinfoil hat to suspect might be Soros’s boys giving Kamala all the cover she needs for retroactive martial law) succeeds. Trump declares that there will be an all-new set of elections — a national “do-over,” if you will, this summer. Does anyone think, for one hot second, that will solve anything?
At that point, all you’ve done is reversed the polarities. Trump wins, of course, and now you’ve got the Democrats yelling about how it was rigged. And let’s be fair, they’ve got a pretty solid point, since the only way to make sure the Dems don’t rig it is to station Federal troops at every polling station…. the Feds, who have been deployed on President Trump’s direct orders. I never thought Biden had a snowball’s chance in hell in a remotely fair election, and even I’d be a little uneasy at a Trump “win” under those circumstances.
So… what to do? A major league “truth and reconciliation” commission on elections, ending with some serious federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison time for the fraudsters, would help… but again, won’t be sufficient, because to make sure they don’t try it again you’d need some serious polling place security, which will of course be provided by… Orange Man’s Feds.
Anything less than secession, in other words, and you guarantee that the process is still illegitimate in the eyes of about 40% of the population, which — while a marked improvement from the 75% or so which is the current figure — isn’t enough to restore The System to legitimacy. And secession short of massive, nationwide rebellions is impossible anyway, because the people who would have to get the ball rolling are the Feds, and/or the state governors and legislators… who, see above, COVID.
Given that all this is simply too hard for those morons to manage, the only real solution is for all of this to be papered over. Enjoy the riots while you can, boys, and while it’s nice to see “our” guys getting a chance to burn and loot shit for once, you might want to note that in German, the “e” often precedes the “i” — for example, in “Reichstag Fire” and “Gleichschaltung.” Someone’s getting the business end of the Insurrection Act, all right… but it ain’t gonna be Joe and the Hoe’s “voters,” I guaran-fucking-tee you that.
PS It truly would not surprise me to learn, after the smoke clears, that since the certification of electoral votes was interrupted by today’s fun, the Congress — which was removed to a secure location — has simply “deemed” the votes to have been counted, and all hail President Biden.
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