Drinking Game

Back on Rotten Chestnuts 1.0, I mentioned a game I like to play when I’m looking for an excuse to get dead drunk. It’s called “If They Were Serious.” The rules are simple: You pick something the Left freaks out about. Then you think what simple, basic, obvious things a person who took that thing seriously would do. Then you note all the ways the Left isn’t doing those things, taking a sip for each one. Then you note all the ways the Left is, in fact, doing the exact opposite of those simple, basic, obvious things — those are worth a shot each. And then you quote Dylan Thomas.

Global Warming was always fun. If They Were Serious, they wouldn’t be doing… pretty much everything they are currently doing, since what they’re currently doing — living in mansions, traveling everywhere by private jet, etc. — is pretty much the exact opposite of what anyone who took Global Warming remotely seriously would do. COVID is, of course, another– yes, by all means, wear those masks everywhere, especially since we’re assured by all the most expert Experts that the virus lives on surfaces for days, weeks, maybe months. So, you know, carrying your own mobile biohazard with you everywhere you go, instead of burning those goddamn things in secure facilities while wearing MOPP-4 gear… you get my point.

And since we all could stand to get gutter-puking drunk these days, let’s play “If They Were Serious” with Our Democracy ™. What on earth could they ever do to restore anyone’s faith in voting?


Let’s say the current “takeover” (which you don’t need a tinfoil hat to suspect might be Soros’s boys giving Kamala all the cover she needs for retroactive martial law) succeeds. Trump declares that there will be an all-new set of elections — a national “do-over,” if you will, this summer. Does anyone think, for one hot second, that will solve anything?

At that point, all you’ve done is reversed the polarities. Trump wins, of course, and now you’ve got the Democrats yelling about how it was rigged. And let’s be fair, they’ve got a pretty solid point, since the only way to make sure the Dems don’t rig it is to station Federal troops at every polling station…. the Feds, who have been deployed on President Trump’s direct orders. I never thought Biden had a snowball’s chance in hell in a remotely fair election, and even I’d be a little uneasy at a Trump “win” under those circumstances.

So… what to do? A major league “truth and reconciliation” commission on elections, ending with some serious federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison time for the fraudsters, would help… but again, won’t be sufficient, because to make sure they don’t try it again you’d need some serious polling place security, which will of course be provided by… Orange Man’s Feds.

Anything less than secession, in other words, and you guarantee that the process is still illegitimate in the eyes of about 40% of the population, which — while a marked improvement from the 75% or so which is the current figure — isn’t enough to restore The System to legitimacy. And secession short of massive, nationwide rebellions is impossible anyway, because the people who would have to get the ball rolling are the Feds, and/or the state governors and legislators… who, see above, COVID.


Given that all this is simply too hard for those morons to manage, the only real solution is for all of this to be papered over. Enjoy the riots while you can, boys, and while it’s nice to see “our” guys getting a chance to burn and loot shit for once, you might want to note that in German, the “e” often precedes the “i” — for example, in “Reichstag Fire” and “Gleichschaltung.” Someone’s getting the business end of the Insurrection Act, all right… but it ain’t gonna be Joe and the Hoe’s “voters,” I guaran-fucking-tee you that.

PS It truly would not surprise me to learn, after the smoke clears, that since the certification of electoral votes was interrupted by today’s fun, the Congress — which was removed to a secure location — has simply “deemed” the votes to have been counted, and all hail President Biden.

You heard it here first.

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10 thoughts on “Drinking Game

  1. Nuke1776

    Longish time lurker. Feel free to add one to your running reader tally.

    As an historian of, what was it, pre-colonial Ugandan UNIX programmers? What are your thoughts on yesterday’s fun in comparison with, say, the storming of the Bastille? A reasonable comparison? Seems to me that the rage building up in the masses is similar to that in France, but I am an ignoramus on such details.

    Acknowledging there may have been a fair amount of antifa/psyop type of machinations in part, there is no doubt that at least some of the people willing to charge into the fray (if not most) were pissed off Trumpians. The terror of the elites seems to be telling.

    1. Severian Post author

      Sorry it took a bit to approve this – some technical problems yesterday.

      There’s a lot of anger out there, and the Elite are well and truly terrified … which means the more apt comparison, alas, remains the Reichstag Fire. Taking nothing away from the righteous anger of the mostly peaceful protestors, the only short-term result of this will be outlandish, cack-handed repression from the top. We’ll get to see just how fast FedGov can build a big, beautiful wall… around DC. That place is going to look like Checkpoint Charlie once they install the Great Pretender.

      I debated this a bit with Z Man in the comments on one of his posts a few weeks back. I said Trump’s going to die in prison. He thought the Left, with their goldfish-like attention spans, would treat him like they did W. Remember him? The Left doesn’t — from Literally Hitler to a complete nonentity within a week of his leaving office. But the events on Capitol Hill made the Uniparty soil themselves, and that’s the kind of thing they don’t forget. If Trump was dumb enough to issue his “concession” because they threatened to impeach and imprison him, then he fully deserves the show trial he’s going to get, because that’s what they’re going to do to him anyway.

      Our Rulers are Mean Girls with Special Needs. That scared them. And when Mean Girls get scared, they get mad. They’re going to be out for R-E-V-E-N-G-E.

      1. Pickle Rick

        Good. Because the only way to get Normal America off its fat ass and do something is for them to get punched in the mouth, hard. Bungling, cack handed, irrational, unpredictable punishment by Our Lords and Masters in Washington is exactly what has to happen to the former Trump CivNats in order for them to cross the mental Rubicon.

        To take a page from history, the Boston Massacre had to happen before Lexington and Concord. 1905 had to happen before 1917.

  2. Wildgoose

    I wonder what the odds are on the Republican Party splitting? It seems they’re parting ways with a large chunk of their voters. You might find yourself entering a multi-party future with a system that is designed to enforce only 2-party rule.

    1. MBlanc46

      Split? Or become a permanent, ever-decreasing, minority? With perhaps frequent Perot-like attempts to establish a third party.

  3. dave b

    AOC and many others have been advocating for camps for us deplorables and I think we should take them seriously. Will Americans go quietly as did the Jews, the Russians, the Chinese, etc.? Many people have asked why the Jews did not meet the Gestapo at the door with knives and axes and take out as many as they could, knowing they would die soon anyway. Solzhenitsyn wrote that maybe he and his fellow inmates deserved the gulag because they didn’t resist the communists enough, did not love freedom enough. What will we do? Have we become so soft we will get in the boxcars willingly? Given the deplorable behavior of the police, who have been attacked all year long and are being defunded in every large city, but still do the bidding of the leftist mayors and governors and protect antifa/blm, I suspect the majority will go willingly and apologize for being too slow about it. We didn’t do anything to stop the invasion of our country by millions of 3rd worlders, drag queen story hour, Critical Race Theory being taught to our children, etc. On some level I don’t care anymore. We are not a nation of serious people, we are clowns, and the future will belong to people who take life a bit more seriously than we do.

    With the two factions of the Dems in theory being against each other what will happen? Biden represents the corporate ruling class, the bankers and the big boys, and they really have no interest in all the radical economic crap that AOC and her kind represent. But the SJW nonsense works to their benefit. Will they sideline them, can they? Are the streetfighters in BLM and Antifa capable of being controlled or do they represent too large a group to be put back in the bottle easily? I tend to think they have been useful idiots for the ruling class, and basically just a bunch of losers play acting at revolution, or outright criminals getting their rocks off by burning and looting. They also tend to be from rich families who have no gut interest in anything. I suspect they will be sidelined quickly. On the other hand, the AOC wing is growing and will grow more as the country falls apart.

    The good news is that there will be opportunities for a good laugh in all this. White liberals in their nice white suburbs with their Hate Has No Home here signs will find reality staring them in the face soon enough. Diversity is our Strength indeed.

  4. MBlanc46

    Finally, you’re back:

    I was hitch-hiking from Dublin to the Dingle Peninsula in the summer of 1976. One guy who picked me up told me, as we were driving through the town of Limerick (supply you own here —————) that he drank two quarts of whiskey and twenty pints of beer a day. That’s not equivalent to 18 straight whiskies, but it’s still a lot of alcohol. Even if there was some blarney mixed in, it’s way more than my capacity, or interest.

    It will be papered over. But the papering job will look as if it done by someone who had just downed 18 straight whiskies. We have turned a political corner here in the good old USA. Maybe not a right-angled corner, but we’re no longer headed in the exact direction that we were before NOV 03. Things are too unsettled for predictions, but I’m changing my odds that Trump will attend the inauguration from 70–30 to somewhere in the neighborhood of 5–95. (Javanka and maybe the Mrs might have a say about that.)


  5. Southern Belle

    Yes, I think the politicians were and still are afraid. They have discounted around what was it 74 million votes for Trump? Papering over certainly, but trying to discredit him in the eyes of his supporters is another tactic emerging. They STILL don’t get it. It’s not what Trump does or did, it’s what THEY do or did. This is a protest as much against them as it is for him. I am reminded of the lost opportunity for the Confederates to take DC early in the war, instead opting for defensive and negotiation. I hope this wasn’t another lost opportunity.

  6. jvangeld

    If America was being run by the kind of people that Indiana Jones hates, the kind that ran prison camps and escaped to Argentina, someone who takes that seriously would:

    Hide immigrants in their basements.
    Help those immigrants leave America.

    Instead they:

    Encouraged immigrants to protest in public.
    Helped more immigrants enter the US.
    Went to foreign countries to help more immigrants enter the US.

    18 straight whiskeys, anyone?

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