Enjoying the Apocalypse

It’s not all bad, kameraden. Sure, sure, the iron heel of Fascism has, in fact, descended on the face of what used to be America, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun while we await the purges…

Hey, speaking of, check your email over the next few days. I’m going to try a test-fire of the newsletter here today or tomorrow. Sign up if you haven’t — click on the “contact” bar on the right, then use the email address embedded in the page URL. Once again, no posts here for a few days doesn’t mean anything — I’ve never been the most regular poster, I’ve got some big life shit going on that doesn’t involve the end of semi-free government, believe it or not, and so forth. No posts for a few days? No big deal. If you get the 404 error, then it’s time to check your email.

One fun thing to do as the world ends is practicing tradecraft, for the time when we’re all required to parrot the official lies or have our bank accounts shut down. To that end…

Signal Intercepts.  It occurs to me that if the NKVD had anything on the ball, instead of banning dissident blogs, they’d hijack the signal. They’re already, I’m told, making video “deep fakes” of “conservatives” seeing the light. You don’t need to torture and starve a Cardinal Mindszenty into confessing for the cameras anymore; videos of shiny happy people holding hands can be slapped together that are all but indistinguishable from the real thing. And since algorithms can easily detect writing styles — it’s a modification of the basic Turnitin thing schools use to detect plagiarism — it should be fairly easy to computer-fake blog posts. It would behoove writers to perhaps come up with some kind of “authentication phrase” that they could salt into posts, letting readers know that this is the real deal… or that they’re writing under duress. Suggestions?

Agree and Amplify. Another fun thing to do is work on your Game. (It’ll help your love life, too!). PUAs — that’s “pickup artists,” for those who don’t speak Internet — have a tactic they call “agree and amplify.” When girls give you grief, the PUAs argue, it’s often a “shit test,” to determine if you really are the cool, aloof, socially-savvy dude you’re pretending to be. So they’ll say something like “I bet you use that line on all the girls” or “You must be a player” while you’re chatting them up. A guy who isn’t a player, according to the PUAs, would fold at this point — he’d fall all over himself to assure the girl that she’s right, he’s not a player, he’s actually a very nice guy and will she please sleep with him now?

Which never works.

At this point, the PUAs assert, sealing the deal is simply a matter of deploying the right countermove. She wants to sleep with you, but her ego won’t let her live with the fact that she got played, so you have to confirm that you’re a player without confirming that you’re a player. A standard tactic for doing this is “agree and amplify” — “yeah, I’m the world’s champ, I tried out for The Bachelor but they had to reject me because I started a riot in the green room the minute the girls got a look at me.” It’s so over-the-top, the theory goes, that it’s disarming. Same deal with any of your flaws — if she’s still talking to you, she’s intrigued, it’s just a shit test, so agree and amplify.

“You’re a little short.”

“Yeah, but I play center for my pygmy tribe’s basketball team.”

“You’re kinda overweight.”

“I was the heavyweight division champ at sumo school for three years running.”

And so forth, I have no idea if those work or not, I’ve been out of the meat market a long time and was never any good at it when I was in. Those are for illustration only, and I trust y’all see how it works.

Now, apply it to politics. Since criticism of the Bidenreich will soon get you “twenty five rubles” under Article 58, it’s important to learn how to agree and amplify the propaganda. Recall that if your cell phone, tablet computer, e-reader, tv, etc. aren’t spying on you now — hint: they are — they soon will be. They’ve got your voice on tape. That’s bad, but it can also be used to your advantage, since eventually this stuff has to get digested and excerpted, and so voice becomes text. So instead of saying “Fuck Joe Biden and his curry-reeking whore of a Veep” — Alexa and Siri will report you — learn to say “Oh my God, I just looooove Joe Biden, and socialism excites me sexually.” But, you know, really over the top.

Anyone listening to the tape can probably hear the sarcasm, but it won’t come through on the printout.

Fun with autismActually, though, it’s quite possible that those listening to the tape won’t pick up on the sarcasm. We’ve noted many times that Leftists redline the autism spectrum. They absolutely cannot process nuance; the very idea that something can look one way, but actually be another way, gives them the screaming mimis (note: that’s an old slang phrase from the 40s that means what you think it does; do NOT look it up on Urban Dictionary). The train is fine, remember? The train is fine. And all this before the generation raised in Covidiocy comes of age — gosh, do you think kids who spent their formative years staring at masks and eyebrows are going to have some problems deciphering social cues?  In short, practice fucking with the autistics in your life — public school teachers, government functionaries of all sorts, pretty much anyone under the age of 35. Not only is it fun, but you’ll get some much-needed tradecraft practice.

I welcome your suggestions for further fun in the comments.

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3 thoughts on “Enjoying the Apocalypse

  1. urbando

    “It would behoove writers to perhaps come up with some kind of “authentication phrase” that they could salt into posts, letting readers know that this is the real deal… or that they’re writing under duress. Suggestions?”

    I recall an espionage novel where the agent had to communicate under duress. He employed “ignore keys” – words which told his control to ignore the next sentence. There should be some way to create a list of short innocuous phrases with various meanings, i.e. “Accordingly” = but I’m BSing here, “Most unfortunately” = they tell me my job is at stake, “Overwhelmingly” = here’s the real deal. But of course, and overwhelmingly so, I’m just a fan of spy novels, not any kind of knowledgeable practitioner.

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