Lefties Getting Religion

It’s time now for another one of my wild-ass predictions.  Limber up your commenting fingers now; I look forward, as always, to hearing how wrong I am.  But I’m willing to bet that the Left is going to find religion in a big way here in the next few decades.  And I don’t mean it in the trite (and, of course, true and obvious) sense that Leftism itself is a religion.  I mean an honest-to-God (heh), come-to-Jesus moment.  It’s the next logical waypoint on their trajectory.

Have you read Eric Hoffer’s The True Believer?  If you haven’t, do so right away — it’s short, it’s pithy, and it explains Leftism like nothing else can.  Hoffer points out that all modern mass movements, from creepy cults with a few dozen members to the Democratic Party, are comprised of the same basic type of loser: Someone so dissatisfied with himself that he longs to submerge himself in something greater, to trade his own flawed individual identity for the perfect anonymous Identity of the collective.  The movement’s doctrines change according to circumstances, but it always offers the same solution.  That’s why, as he notes, Nazis and Communists in Weimar Germany put so much effort into recruiting among their avowed enemies.  The KPD had less quotable leadership than the Nazis, so we’ll have to take Goebbels’s word for it — he bragged that he could turn a Red into a Brown in two weeks.

It should be obvious that this is the emotional fuel of Leftism (or “this stuff we today call ‘liberalism’,” as Morgan prefers).  This is how today’s angel was yesterday’s devil and back again — see, for example, the recent saga of Stephen Colbert’s “homophobia.”  It hardly needs to be said that an unreconstructed Reich-winger like myself would lose everything I own had I publicly called someone a “cock-holster,” no matter how many gay friends I paraded out to give me absolution.  It’s not hypocrisy, not really.  It’s just that cognitive dissonance doesn’t exist for the Left, because “Left” isn’t an ideology, it’s an identity, and a psyche divided against itself cannot stand.  Pick any bullet point of the modern Left’s catechism and trace it back a few years — I guarantee you you’ll find them hyperventilating about the exact opposite thing.  Why, in just my post college years I’ve seen the very same persons go from

  • “monogamy is a vile, breeder-imposed insult to the gay lifestyle” to “gay marriage is a fundamental right;”
  • “illegal immigrants are bad because they bring down the American worker’s wages” to “ur a raciss for putting the word ‘illegal’ in front of ‘immigrant;'”
  • “there are only two genders (what do you think the “B” in “LGBTQ” stands for?)” to “there are as many genders as one feels xyrzelf needs at any given time”

etc.  If cognitive dissonance were a real thing out there in Lefty-land, it’d be raining brain matter to this day from all the head explosions.  That’s because cognition has nothing to do with it.  It’s a matter of belief and identity — the exact same mechanism that gets the Christian believer over the logical contradiction between “Jesus is God” and “Jesus was a man,” gets the Leftist over all of his many, many, many (many many many many many) daily self-contradictions.

And now for the supernatural bit.  For these past 200 years, Lefties have gone all-in on “science,” which to them means blank-slate equalism and dialectical materialism.  Those aren’t the terms they’d use, of course — I bet you not one Liberal in a thousand has read word one of Karl Marx — but that’s what they mean.  Problem is, both of those are laughably false, and you can’t read actual science for five minutes without seeing it.  So what’s a good “Progressive” to do?

Every Christian I know (and I am one myself) agrees that biology is valid — it is not possible for a man, or any organism, to come back from the dead.  We all hold the truths of logic to be self-evident, too — one entity cannot be both man and god, because that violates the principle of non-contradiction.  But that doesn’t stop us from being Christians; we feel it to be true, and that’s enough — the consolations of faith are far more important than the sterile truths of biology and logic.  I trust I don’t have to spell the rest of it out — given a choice between “I fucking love science” and actual, you know, science, your Lefty will take the meme every time.  It’s a religious belief, and he damn well knows it….

…which makes simply saying so the natural next step.  The only reason we think they won’t do it is because they’ve devoted their entire lives thus far to making fun of the drooling, cousin-porking Bible thumpers and their Magic Sky Fairy.  But again, CogDis isn’t a thing in their world — see the bulleted list, above.  Don’t you see?  We’ve always been at war with Eastasia.  And best of all, as Our Betters constantly inform us, Jesus himself was a Socialist.  Why do you think they keep trotting that chestnut out?  Obviously they themselves don’t believe it, as they themselves aren’t Christian…

….yet.  Give it a decade, two at the outside.  I’d look for the so-called “social gospel” to make a roaring comeback here soon.

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3 thoughts on “Lefties Getting Religion

  1. Rich Whiteman

    It actually has to happen, this flip-flopping around can’t possibly last much longer. Plus the constant rule changes make it hard to keep up with today’s permitted thoughts. Perhaps the next step is a “new translation” of the New Testament with heavy emphasis on socialism, followed by street preachers, followed by actual buildings, followed by…burning witches at the stake?

    1. nightfly

      They already do all of that anyway, Rich: they have favorite misquoted or context-free verses, they have folks like Nye and deGrasse Tyson as televangelists, they have street evangelism (we call them riots), they have Gender Studies offices and think-tank centers across the fruited plain, and the only thing they haven’t done to their version of heretics and witches is actual killing, though not for want of trying.

      One thing prevents them from going full-hog on for it – the moment you actually bring Jesus into things, He has the annoying habit of really showing up and starting to win souls. Everyone who becomes a real Christian instead of a simulacrum is one more soul controlled by something other than the cult leaders. It’s why cults that started as Christian-esque sects (the inbred polygamists of the American Southwest, for one example) eventually drop Jesus and go all-in with obeying the church authorities. Even the Puritans and the hardest-line Catholics and the first fiery Reformation figures talk(ed) about obeying their doctrines as tools for living for Christ, rather than substitutes for Him.

      As long as they are the gods in question, they get to call all the shots; once they bring in a real God, they run the risk of losing control of people to Him, and that is a risk most are not willing to take.

      1. Severian

        Yeah, but they’ll manage 🙂 Churches are subject to the Iron Law of Bureaucracy, too — I myself know several “ministers” who seem to have never heard of this “Jesus” guy, and I think most believers have similar stories.


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