My First Post-Retirement Election Day

In Evan Maloney’s fun little campus-bashing documentary Indoctrinate U, there’s a psychology prof who’s been outed as a conservative (and, of course, harassed out of employment and blackballed from academia, because Liberals are all about the dissenting viewpoints and how dare you suggest otherwise!!!).  Maloney then interviews several of her former students:

“Oh yeah,” they say, “we all knew.”  He asks them just how they knew, and they all reply with a version of “because she was the only professor we had who didn’t go off on political rants all the time in class.”

Which is how all but the deepest-cover shitlords get blown.  Unhinged political rants are so common in academia, in every class from the loopiest Angry Studies seminar to the hardest of STEM labs, that simply not acting like an SJW lunatic during class time is unusual enough to get you noticed.  It’s like being the first guy to stop clapping for Dear Leader at a North Korean politburo meeting.*

If I were still teaching, I’d be the only guy not all but physically dragging my students to the polling station today.  Thus, I’d be outed.  I thought my time had come on November 9, 2016, when I was the only guy on campus over the age of 22 who didn’t look like I wanted to slit my wrists, but somehow nobody dimed me to the Thought Police.  I’d like to say that’s because I was one of those inspiring Dead Poets’ Society-type motherfuckers, but in reality, it was probably just shell shock — the NPCs’ wires were still too fried to even notice that I wasn’t wearing sackcloth and ashes.

After two years of Trump, there’s no way that’s happening today.  If I were teaching now, I’d be reported.  However today’s vote turns out, thank you  Jesus for early retirement.




*It’s a mark of Orwell’s genius that he even thought this through.  I always wondered why the put a time limit on the Two Minutes’ Hate…. until I realized that, Stalinists being Stalinists, no work would get done otherwise; they’d keep ranting until they dropped from exhaustion (and the first guy to pass out would probably still get shot).
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13 thoughts on “My First Post-Retirement Election Day

  1. WOPR

    I’m just praying they get nothing this round. I don’t know what will happen though. But if they don’t at least win the House, I have to believe they’ll double down on insanity.

  2. Pickle Rick

    Since they gerrymandered my district, I’m probably getting a nice trained (and gelded white man) Democratic lapdog as my “Representative”. Hoping that my senator and governor get tossed, but with Pittsburgh, Harrisburg, and Philadelphia, rural conservatives are boned every election…

    I tried to vote my way out of it, but I know my history, so the Whiskey Rebellion Option is always on the table, right?

    1. Skedastic Racket

      There’s a craft distiller in Pitt named for the guy who started that rebellion, something Wigle. But the owner/operator is a npc of course. Makes good whiskey though.

      1. Pickle Rick

        I’ve had his stuff. It’s good Monongahela rye. I prefer spiced black rum, though.

        Wigle didn’t start the Whiskey Rebellion, he was just another small distillery owner- the real mover was Herman Husband and a lot of really pissed off war veterans who had been screwed over by Hamilton and his ilk before.

        Don’t Tread on Me

  3. Toddy Cat

    “I have to believe they’ll double down on insanity.”

    They’ll double down on the insanity no matter what. It’s hard-wired into the ideology.

    1. Severian

      I think so too. Like a commenter at Z Man’s said today, the only thing today’s vote will determine is if the civil war comes sooner, or later. If they win, they’ll be too busy going after Orange Man Bad for a few years to start shooting at us. If they lose, they’ve got nothing left but to start shooting at us.

      Fun times ahead. Who was it that said “may you live in interesting times”? Confucius? Whoever it was, fuck you, buddy — fuck you so very, very hard.

  4. Joseph Moore

    My last full immersion into academia was over 25 years ago, but since it was at San Francisco State, I think we can knock at least 10-15 years off that, as far as levels of crazy go (The Palestinians, whoever they might be, had seized control of the student government, from which bully pulpit they expounded their ideology & made student organizations over which they had some funding control grovel and pronounce ‘shibbilith’ for their money. The various studies program were just then beginning to feel their oats. I once joked that if a man had a death wish, there were some doors on the quad he could hold open for a woman.)

    Anyway, my last encounter was about 3-4 years ago, an abortive attempt to resume the long-abandoned study of ancient Greek at Cal. We were talking for some reason about a woman known to history because she had some historically unclear relationship (lover? concubine? wife? friend? slave? Who knows?) with a Athenian politician. This brought her in for a large dose of calumny, and she eventually met a sad end, which would surprise no one with the faintest acquaintance with ancient Athenian politics. This was offered up as evidence of how tough it was being a smart, accomplished woman in ancient Greece.

    It’s what happened next that’s interesting: the professor mentioned that this was like what happened to what’s her name centuries later in Alexandria. I volunteered ‘Hypatia?’ and she said yes. I said, not really, as we have 4 contemporary accounts of Hypatia and what happened to her, none of which square with the modern mythology of a beautiful young woman murdered by Christians because she dared study science. She was an elderly, very well-respected teacher into gnostic secrets and astrology, who was one of many people murdered in the endless political chaos of Alexandria. Her response was that we can’t trust contemporary accounts. I said: but they were her friends and students.

    And I guess I was lucky the subject got dropped. I don’t know how many students like me this teacher ever had, older than she and familiar (however weakly) with the time period. And she was pretty low key, really. It is horrible to contemplate what a bunch of 18 year old idiots (but I repeat myself) would ‘learn’ from the many worse than her.

    1. Severian Post author

      There it is. I always had a foot in the Real World when I was professing (academia was never my main gig), so I was daily reminded of how little I knew. Most of my colleagues had never had such a reminder, and the younger generation probably never heard the word “no” in their lives. Under those conditions, it’s easy to think you know everything, and to take any question of fact as a direct personal affront. For those who wonder why SJWs act like they do, it’s because they learn it from the masters.

      As far as what 18 year old idiots learn, and the consequences of their behavior, well, every professor I know has had some version of this happen:

      “I can look after myself,” said my 17-year-old.
      “But men are stronger than women,” I said. “When it comes to violence, they are at an advantage.”
      “That’s a sexist thing to say,” she replied.
      A girl who had absorbed nothing at school had nevertheless absorbed the shibboleths of political correctness in general and of feminism in particular.
      “But it’s a plain, straightforward, and inescapable fact,” I said.
      “It’s sexist,” she reiterated firmly.

      What do you do when a student tells you that this or that fact “offends” her? I never managed much beyond “well… ok then,” which is why I was such a bad teacher.

      So, yeah — tl;dr is, we’re doomed.

  5. P_Ang

    Interesting story, kinda tied into to yesterday. I’m working right now for one of the “big 5” banks. SoCal lady called in…had donated two, two-n-a-half months ago to a couple blue groups, five bucks a-piece. “Act blue” and “end citizens united” For the last two and a half months they had been helping themselves to her credit card, including passing the card number around to OTHER blue groups she hadn’t endorsed, running several hundred up in charges. Of course, being the polite, brain-washed lib tool she was, she didn’t want anything bad to happen. I of course followed the normal procedures and filed fraud…Fraud…FRAUD! The sad moral(s) of the story are, 1.) Big ol (blue anyway) Bank will end up paying those Dem groups for the stolen money, and 2.) When you cavort with cheaters, you get cheated. Oh, and 3.) Until they get called out for lying, cheating, and stealing, they’ll never get in trouble and just project their crimes onto Republicans.

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