No Harm, No Foul

The Basic College Girl is so dumb, lazy, and entitled, she makes Hillary Clinton look like a criminal mastermind.  I caught one recycling a term paper from another class because she’d forgotten to take the other professor’s name off the header.  Hell, I caught one copy-pasting straight off Wikipedia because she’d left the hyperlinks embedded in the text.

And these were not Hail Marys.  Just copy-pasting something, anything, Cuttlefish-style makes sense if you haven’t done a lick of work and it’s due in five minutes.  It’s a one-in-a-million shot, sure, but since it took you all of 45 seconds and you’re going to fail anyway, you might as well try to shoot the moon.  No, these were papers turned in with plenty of time to spare (I always had my term papers due at least a week before final exams).

Think about that for a second: Instead of coming to my office hours with a sob story, or trying to talk the registrar into an incomplete, or faking her own death, or doing literally anything else, more than a few BCGs turned in visible-from-space plagiarism and skipped on down to Starbucks for a triple foam half-caff venti soy chai pumpkin spice latte.  YOLO!

That’s not the worst part, though.  The worst part is the BCG’s reaction when you catch them.  When you point out that no, I’m not Professor Jones and this isn’t Spring 2014, the BCG’s universal, invariable reaction is… anger.  At YOU.

At the time I was simply too pissed to think about it rationally (I trust you’ll believe me when I say that in the semesters just before I retired, my biggest challenge was keeping a look of utter contempt off my face).  Looking back on it after some years, though, it makes sense.  BCGs are all grandiose narcissists with Borderline Personality Disorder.  Of course they’re just so wonderful that anything they deign to turn in should be given an A+, sight unseen.  What other purpose could I, the professor, possibly serve, other than to mark it down for record-keeping?  Now she’s forced to take the time to email me, or come down to my office hours, or what have you, just to set my dumb ass straight.  It’s a real inconvenience!

This is why this impeachment stuff has me soiling my knickers.  I recognize all the players.  Basic College Girls are found among both sexes and all 57 genders — Adam Schiff is such a BCG, he must have twelve pairs of Uggs and a small, meaningful tattoo on his wrist.  He lies all the time, about anything and everything, and it doesn’t bother him a whit when he gets caught, because hey, no harm, no foul.  If lying gets him what he wants — which is, of course, nothing less than what he deserves — then it isn’t really a lie, is it?

And if it doesn’t work, that’s ok, too.  It’s not like he’ll face any consequences; BCGs never do.    In fact, in some ways it’s better to get “caught” “lying,” since that means all ur h8rz get all worked up about you, again, which means you win.  There’s drama surrounding you on social media.  That, to the BCG, is the only thing that really matters in this world.

But the real world, as we all know, is that which doesn’t go away when you stop believing in it.  BCGs believe, with all their hearts and souls, in a strange, postmodern kind of solipsism in which only Twitter exists…

…but the world outside Twitter does exist, no matter how many Instagram followers you have.  The question is: How long will the BCGs who rule us be permitted to live solely on Twitter?

The blackpilled among us say “forever,” or effectively forever — until, as Anonymous White Male puts it in the comments below, until the porn and the sportsball and the food run out.  Having dealt with many a BCG over many long years, I often fall into this myself.  I and every other educator with a shred of principle remaining (and there are a few, even at this late date) longed to flunk Suzy Sorority so hard, she’d end up back in fourth grade.  But none of us ever did, because we knew what would happen: Suzy would keep bitching up the chain of command until someone — the department chair, the dean, the college president — reversed our decision.  Which someone would, because higher ed is a business in steep decline, and the customer is always right.  Then what do you do?  Admit to everyone you’re a whore and stay on, or resign in protest and never work again? (College is a guild profession where everyone knows everyone, at least by reputation).

Sometimes I think there’s hope, though.  It’s that “steep decline” part.  Higher ed is entirely propped up by two things, both about to go bye-bye: The federal student loan tit, and foreign students, mostly from the PRC, over here to blow off steam and conduct industrial espionage.  Taking the second first, I remarked here a few months ago that President Trump’s trade war with China might’ve inadvertently killed off higher ed, as the utter dependence of many, if not most, state U’s on Chinamen paying full freight is academia’s worst-kept secret.  As soon as it’s no longer worth it to send the second sons of lesser party officials over here to party with blonde girls while taking notes on process engineering, half the colleges in America will have to shut their doors.  As the student loan endgame is obvious we’ll skip it, but both of them lead to the same conclusion — when the customer is no longer right, Suzy Sorority’s going to get told to fuck right off.  It’ll be the first time she’s ever heard the word “no” in her life, and it’ll be delivered gleefully enough to give the Marquis de Sade a posthumous woody.

It may not need to end in revolution, I guess I’m saying.  Are we Dirt People really going to follow orders when Schiff, Pelosi et all tell us “BOHICA”?  How many times?  And if we don’t, do we really have to go to the ultimate end before they stop?

I’ve seen way too many Basic College Girls completely melt down — as in, sobbing in the corner, requiring sedation — to be sure that Schiff et al have iron in their spines.  They’ve never been tested.  What happens if we just say no?

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9 thoughts on “No Harm, No Foul

  1. Pickle Rick

    Where’s Preston Brooks when we need him?
    Although if Miss Lindsay does manage to keep Mittens and his cucks in line and refuse to collaborate with our enemies, I can fully see one of the House Dems trying to pull a Preston, on the floor.

    1. Publius

      I was just thinking about Preston Brooks yesterday, but in reference to the exemplars of diversity beating the hell out of a porky white kid for wearing a MAGA hat on a school bus.

      That entitlement to violence is always troubling.

      1. Pickle Rick

        Not troubling to me. You have a natural right to violence. Back in the old days, porky white kid’s family and neighbors would have inflicted massive retaliation on the diversity. The local sheriff would have looked the other way. Eventually, the diversity learns not to fuck with white people.
        Today, of course, the “law” is entirely on the side of diversity, and diversity is no longer afraid of us. Until we regain control of our local power we’re going to have to borrow a page from La Cosa Nostra. (Or the original pointy hat guys of 1866.)

  2. Vizzini

    Instead of coming to my office hours with a sob story<

    This kind of ticks me off. In a Russian history class I took back in college, the professor laid out rules for papers at the beginning of the quarter, which included "One letter grade off for each day late." She didn't say "unless you have a sob story."

    I had a friend in the class, not really a BCG, actually a pretty smart girl. We were both two days late on a paper and I knew for a fact, that she, like me, was simply procrastinating. Me, I just turned in a paper I hoped was good enough to get a passing grade in spite of that (I did, in fact, get a C. Whether that was charity or not, I can't say). Her, she went to the prof with a sob story and got an A on her paper. I was so angry I couldn't even talk her, or the professor.

  3. Severian Post author

    Notice that I didn’t say “A sob story would’ve worked” — it just would’ve been less insulting for everyone involved.

    Sob stories are, in fact, the main reason I was an early and vigorous adopter of the online classroom. Oh, your grandma died? I’m so sorry, but you could’ve uploaded your rough draft into the dropbox. That way you’d at least get some points…. oh, you wanted to, but you had to rush to grandma’s funeral? Every single town in America has wi-fi; why didn’t you upload it there? Oh, you hadn’t started writing it yet, but you swear you were going to? That’s fine… just send me an email with the link to the obituary in the local paper….

    A few rounds of that, and word gets around — I got remarkably few sob stories, all in.

  4. MBlanc46

    I only had this happen once during my brief foray into academe in the early 1970s. It was pretty clearly for a poli sci class, not my philosophy class. I had required that the topic of the paper be approved by me beforehand, which the perp had not done. Hence, I rejected the submission. The perp was a male. Had it been female, she might have gotten a pass, depending on how elegantly she crossed her legs in class. In those days, the administration would have backed the teacher, but the perp did not press the issue and submitted something appropriate.

  5. Joseph Moore

    Stray thought, and I know nothing about English politics except that Boris Johnson seems to be hated there by the same sorts of people who hate Trump here: does his resounding victory yesterday have any bearing on prospects for Trump? The left there seemed to be playing many of the same cards they play against Trump here, and the voters didn’t buy it in the least, evidently.

    I don’t know how much Chicago-style institutionalized voter fraud they have over the pond. That’s frankly been my biggest fear here.

    1. Pickle Rick

      The Brexit referendum preceded the Trump victory in 2016, (as did Margaret Thatcher’s election preceded Reagan in 1979) so yes, I’d consider it a prediction of Anglo- American political trends. We’re still more English than most people realize.

    2. MBlanc46

      You are correct to fear massive voter fraud in 2020. The Dems are past masters of the art (not that the Repubs are pristine). This time the Dems will not be over-confident and think that they can just coast. They will leave no vote unturned in Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Detroit, Flint, and Milwaukee. Good-bye Trump EC victory.

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