This whole Iowa situation is a hoot. Depending on which “conspiracy theory” you believe, the fix has been in for quite some time. Not holding the
impeachment acquittal vote on Friday, some say, was largely the Party’s way of tying up Bernie (and, to a lesser extent, Warren) in Washington, so that Sundown Joe Biden would have Iowa to himself in the last few days before the caucus. Personally, I think it has much more to do with denying Trump the ability to brag about his exoneration at tonight’s State of the Union address, but like the man says, embrace the power of “and,” buddy.
And then there’s the squashed Des Moines Register poll. Talk about a convoluted, lame excuse! As pretty much everyone said the minute they heard this, I guess Bernie must’ve been winning yuuuuge. Here again, the exact motivation is unclear. Did they squash it to hurt Bernie, to help Warren, or to hide Slow Joe’s collapse? And here again, we’re invited to embrace the power of “and.” Whatever the real reason, the stated excuse — that some pollster in Iowa City couldn’t properly pronounce “Buttigieg” — is laughable.
Speaking of Buttigieg, then there’s the fact that this app Iowans have so much trouble with — hilariously named “Shadow” — was apparently heavily supported by Pete’s people. No, really. And with links to Hillary, too, because you can’t have a hilariously complicated fiasco of a caper without Herself involved somehow. That alone should tell you that however it turns out, a three card monte game has a better chance of being on the level than the Iowa Democratic caucus. All we’re missing at this point is Al Franken’s car… and it’s probably heading down the highway, Christine-style, as we speak.
To the historically literate, this raises one simple, obvious question: Why do they even bother?
There’s a word for all this: caesarism. It means “maintaining the sham of representative government — candidates, elections, debates, and so forth — while a not-so-secret cabal of bigshots actually runs things.” Named after its first practitioner, of course, but that’s just the thing…. even the Caesars didn’t bother with caesarism after a few decades. Unless you’re a field specialist, there’s no meaningful difference between the Principate and the Dominate. Even Augustus, the first princeps of the Principate, pretty much stopped making “republican” noises at the end; Nero et al hardly bothered to start. Still, even if we grant that the “Principate” made a grand show of “republicanism,” they stopped in just over 200 years. That’s the blink of an eye, historically speaking, especially considering the pace of change in the ancient world. 200 years for them is like 20 years for us. So…. why do we bother?
Frankly, it beats my pair of jacks. I’m guessing that they actually won’t bother for too much longer — it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to see the Party hacks simply anointing their preferred candidate in Milwaukee this summer, “primary” results be damned. In which case, let me be the first to say “Welcome back, Hillary!!,” but it hardly matters. When it happens — when, that is, the last vague pretense of a sham of “democracy” is finally put to sleep — most Americans’ reaction will be blissful relief. What the hell took y’all so long?Loading Likes...