Paging Franz Josef

Since it’s getting on to tax season, let’s pretend that I and my local IRS person have a dispute.  Let’s further stipulate that it’s an honest mistake…

Well, that’s our first problem, isn’t it?  As we all know, the criminal laws are so opaque and byzantine that we all commit three felonies a day.  The tax laws, of course, make the criminal code look like a model of clarity and sanity.  But let’s stipulate that I deducted a certain amount for the federal unicorn chow subsidy from my gross income, and the question at law is whether it was the right amount.  I say yes; IRS says no.

The first thing I do is pray that I get a White male judge, the older the better.  That’s the only way the issue at law has any chance of being settled at law…. Assuming the IRS goon is also a White male and not one of the privileged classes, against whom not even the crustiest old White judges have any real power.

The chances of reason prevailing vary inversely, of course, with the presiding judge’s albedo and estrogen level.  I might get a fair shot if a White lady judge woke up on the right side of the bed, if she isn’t on the rag, if I don’t remind her of a jerk ex-boyfriend, and none of her cats threw up a hairball last night.  Any flavor of POC male will screw me on general principles, and as for a POC female, well, just remember: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is one of the smarter, saner ones.  Can they execute you for smudging the ink on Schedule XQTR-308?  I sure as hell wouldn’t put it past a Hawaiian Judge, would you?

Behold the wonders of Third World jurisprudence.  What you did is immaterial; the “trial” is all about playing to the presiding magistrate’s prejudices.  Best case, we end up with something like Austria-Hungary, with separate legal systems for the separate nationalities.  Worst case… well, you don’t need me to tell you what it is.  And besides, I’m pretty sure we’re gonna find out.

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2 thoughts on “Paging Franz Josef

  1. P_Ang

    “And you, young Severianwalker, we will watch your career with great interest. ” I’ve made mistakes with the IRS before. In the past, I used to figure it was just my background as an English major and my propensity towards being far too literal. “Did you APPLY for such-and-such a credit this year” Well no, I never recalled applying for anything, although now that you’ve reduced my refund by both the credit and your massive 50% fine I do remember getting $300 direct deposited into my account with absolutely NO follow-up paperwork on the state’s end to notify me of their tooth-grinding refund.
    I’m pretty sure I’m about to make the one of the same mistakes this year, only now I can’t help but wonder if some of the instruction was intentionally DESIGNED that way. Last year, I took a state credit that reduced my liability by 6500 bucks. The state said “no, you did it wrong, you don’t get anything.” This year, I’ve poured over that section ten times. They’ve added to it this year, including adding a chart that clearly says “if you make this much, you can claim this much.” However, it’s pretty clear they’ve added “style” in the form of new tables and moving words around, yet the substance is the same…a clear attempt to mislead taxpayers into claiming a credit that the state can then yank out from under them in the hopes of both having something over them and making up the billions in wasted entitlement fraud in fines and repossesed tax refunds.

  2. MBlanc46

    Blacks already have Third World justice. If there aren’t enough blacks on their juries, they get a retrial. When there are enough, they’re called Bronx juries.

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