Pete is the New Normal

I know, I know, I’m hardly the first guy to make that observation, but for any future historians who might survive the upcoming Time of Purges, let me lay out my thoughts on the Pete phenomenon:

I came out (look, you can’t avoid double entendres when writing about this subject; I’m not even gonna try) pretty early with my prediction that Elizabeth Warren would be the Donks’ nominee.  I figured Sundown Joe Biden didn’t have a chance from the get-go.  Forget the senile old fossil factor; historically, veeps have virtually no shot at winning an election to the big chair.  There have been two in the modern era: Nixon and H.W. Bush.  Which is hardly a glowing endorsement in itself, especially considering that both won when the Democratic Party was going through one of its periodic implosions — the surprise resignation of LBJ and the assassination of front-runner RFK in 1968, and the ongoing-but-incomplete Clintonificiation of the Party in 1988, both resulting in the weakest possible Democratic candidates.

Hubert Humphrey and Mike Dukakis look like the second coming of Solon compared to today’s intersectional genderfluid clown show, of course, but a rutabaga in an elephant costume could’ve beaten them back in their day (no disrespect intended to Mr. Nixon).  Veeps just don’t have a realistic shot — they get tarred with all the previous administration’s problems, but can’t claim much credit for any successes.  See e.g. Humphrey, himself a sitting veep when squaring off against Nixon (who had two entire administrations’ worth of distance friom his own vice presidency).  So Slow Joe was done from jump street.

From there, conventional wisdom kicked in.  Given the choice between a Jew, a shrew, and a fag, the darker end of the rainbow coalition can only go one way.  Antisemitism is a fringe (though unbelievably tedious) preoccupation on the Right.  It’s mainstream on the Left, though, and all-but-universal among Blacks.  Cf. the careers of such charmers as Jesse “Hymietown” Jackson, Al “Freddy’s Fashion Mart” Sharpton, et cetera ad nauseam.  Hispanics aren’t overly fond of them either.  They’re even less fond of los maricónes, though here again Blacks probably have the edge.  Whichever race is the most bigoted, though, the Dems absolutely have to have both of them 100% on side — if even 15% of the dusky electorate stays home, they’re screwed.

Hence, Warren.  Since she already has the crazy cat lady vote locked up, I figured, all she has to do is run a marginally less insane campaign than Herself did back in 2016.  A tall order, to be sure — Warren is somehow even dumber and more tin-eared than Hillary, laws of physics be damned — but I figured that at least her people had learned their lesson….

Shows you what I know.  Two words explain the drift of Warren’s natural supporters to Buttigieg: “Fag hags.”  As I try my damnedest to avoid women in general, and political women in particular, I’d forgotten the appeal fey-but-not-flaming gays have for those who buy kitty litter wholesale.  They’d probably still fall in line behind a woman who wasn’t a completely steel-clad bitch, but if the Democratic Party ever had any of those, they haven’t been in evidence for a few generations.  Gay men, of course, were until recently the most sainted of all the Left’s victim coalition — and undoubtedly still are, to all but college girls (who are required to sing hosannas to trannies).  Thus, Pete’s strong performance in the early primaries, which — as them Dems themselves point out ad nauseam when the Party bigshots don’t get the result they wanted — grossly over-represent White women.

But still, I thought, the Party’s big cheeses will come to their senses.  The only way a “married” gay guy wins is if Trump can’t control himself on the debate stage.  Every single dude on this side of the political aisle has made some joke about asking Mayor Pete “Are you pitching or catching?”  (Answer: “Either way, it’s still baseball”).  Not swinging at a softball that fat, right out over the heart of the plate, might be too much to ask of any red-blooded male, let alone an apex-alpha like Donny Two Scoops.  But unless Trump really does start razzing Mayor Pete about the Village People and Lady Gaga and HIV and whatnot right there on national television, I thought, this one’s in the bag….

But then I started seeing things on social media.  Things like this.  It’s Iowa, and it’s early, so take it with a grain of salt, but… how the fuck do you not know Pete Buttigieg is gay?!?  It has been the centerpiece, the raison d’etre, the fons et origo, the every other way you can say one-and-only thing about his campaign right from the get-go.  Even his supporters joke about it, for fuck’s sake — the nickname “Pete But-he’s-gay” didn’t come from our side of the fence….

The horrifying truth is this: Pete Buttigieg is the closest thing the modern Democratic Party has to a normal human being.  Everyone else on their roster is a slavering Marxist throwback; a bug-eyed, buck-toothed Martian; or some other kind of obvious escapee from a low-rent freakshow.  Thanks to 40+ years of nonstop propaganda, nobody under middle age has a functioning gaydar anymore, and as for the Millennials, well, as Z Man points out in some detail, Pete is, God help us, an aspirational figure.  To the box-checking, standardized-test-cramming, participation-trophy generation, he’s a winner, because he did all that to the nth degree.

Did I mention that I’m seriously considering voting for him?  See above: If that’s the generation we’re entrusting with what’s left of Western Civ, then the Chinese invasion can’t come soon enough.  Might as well vote for Pete, and give the Mongol hordes a head start.  Maybe if we’re lucky, they’ll bring back foot-binding.


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4 thoughts on “Pete is the New Normal

  1. Martinian

    “Did I mention that I’m seriously considering voting for him? ”

    Oh please tell me you’re exaggerating for comic effect! Buttcheek is to gay what Obama was to black, from the gauzy, aspirational vagueness (“the shape of our democracy…” etc.), to the clean-cut “aw shucks” nice-boy image that low-info grandmas lap up, and right down to the dyed-in-wool Marxist father figures.


  2. Pickle Rick

    It might be smart positioning to put Anal Pete up rather than Old Joe. We’re well aware that campaign mode Bad Orange Man got under Her skin when they shared a stage, and Joe is notoriously thin skinned, with a built in Achilles heel in his whoremonger son and Burisma. Far from cutting Bernie’s throat to save Joe, I think the Politburo wants to kneecap Joe in favor of Anal Pete.

  3. WOPR

    Thanks to 40+ years of nonstop propaganda, nobody under middle age has a functioning gaydar anymore, and as for the Millennials, well, as Z Man points out in some detail, Pete is, God help us, an aspirational figure.

    Don’t worry, we’re well on our way to no one being able to see a man in a dress and say “That’s a man.”

    I’ve had to do some computer work at some hair salons. You can tell every guy is playing for the other team. And the women love them. The guys talk them up and are all chatty. The dynamic is a thing to behold. So yeah, I can easily see that demographic swinging into his camp.

    Here’s a question though, how much of a backlash is the cat lady demographic creating? Just recently I’ve started to hear about Karen’s and I Need to Speak to Your Manager hair. Maybe we are reaching peak cat lady?

  4. MBlanc46

    At the moment—and things can change over night—it’s Sanders and Buttigieg and Klobuchar. And waiting in the wings, Bloomberg. Any of those four could defeat President Trump. It’s not the economy. It’s not about policy. It’s not even personality (as much of an issue as they’ll make of Trump’s personality). It’s about tribe. Cosmopolitan globalist* versus nationalist/populist. There appear to be more of the former than there are of the latter. However, they cluster closer together, so the latter still have a chance at an EC victory. So, if all the nationalists/populists come out (there I go) for President Trump, and if the Dems fail to steal enough votes in places like Detroit and Flint, President Trump still has a chance. Yes, side issues such as a candidate’s sexual deviance could still play a role. Especially in a group such as white women, who tend to be fickle. And who—some at least—may be beginning to see that their whiteness is not compensated for by their femaleness. I guess that I can see why a younger guy might want to boogaloo sooner rather than later so as to try to avoid the daily humiliation that permanent Dem control of the federal government will visit upon us. I’m old enough that I’ll see only the beginning of it, and would prefer to spend my golden years in peace and quiet, even if I have to keep my head down.

    * Yeah, I know that referring to blacks and Mexicans as cosmopolitan globalists sounds discordant. But, although they don’t really fit into that category, they vote, when they vote, for the cosmopolitan globalists.

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