I’ll give the Hollywood hypocrites this: They’ve solved America’s student loan debt crisis. I’m not sure which of the valid forms of the syllogism this is, but follow me here:
- You can get anything you want in academia if you complain long enough;
- Women are 56% of undergrad enrollments, and rising;
- Every Liberal in America believes there’s a “campus rape culture;”
- As #MeToo has shown, being an impeccable Progressive won’t save you;
- we’re about to see a wave of accusations hit academia that’ll make Harvey Weinstein look like a choirboy;
- Once the first wave of sexual harassment claims hit, there will be a severe labor shortage in the Ivory Tower.
And from that, adios higher ed bubble. Are you really going to go a quarter million in hock to send your precious little Stacy off to the barn where the few remaining classes are taught (by only the most desperate job-hungry losers), knowing it’s 100% certain she’ll be almost raped?
College kids today act as if — no, scratch that, they demonstrably believe, with all their hearts and souls — they deserve a gold star and a cookie just for rolling out of bed in the morning. They have no idea that “hard work” and “success” aren’t the same thing (and their definition of “hard work” is “putting the PlayStation on pause and only responding to the most important text messages for twenty minutes while googling up something to copy-paste”). Anything less than an A+ is a catastrophe, and by definition nothing’s their fault, so they’ll do whatever it takes to correct this gross injustice…
… and, not coincidentally, get heaped with praise for striking yet another blow for Social Justice. They’re all mouth-frothing Marxists, these eggheads, but not even Marxists are dumb enough to miss which way this wind is blowing. Right now they’re at the “Denial” stage of grief — it’s only a few creepy CisHetPat white males who are getting accused, and they deserve it! — but it’s already shading into anger (I know it’s hard for the uninitiated to tell, but trust me, the shrill blue haired brigade is getting even shriller, and yeah I didn’t think that was possible either, but there it is). What’s left? Bargaining? They know better — after all, they’re the ones who spent all of freshman year teaching the blue-haired nose-ringers how to dye their hair blue and pierce their septums. Depression? They’re already maxed to the max on Prozac. All that’s left is acceptance…
….and finding another job. Get ready for the Great Ivory Tower Cat Lady Exodus. I’m penciling it in for 2021.