Pop Goes the Higher Ed Bubble!

I’ll give the Hollywood hypocrites this: They’ve solved America’s student loan debt crisis.  I’m not sure which of the valid forms of the syllogism this is, but follow me here:

  • You can get anything you want in academia if you complain long enough;
  • Women are 56% of undergrad enrollments, and rising;
  • Every Liberal in America believes there’s a “campus rape culture;”
  • As #MeToo has shown, being an impeccable Progressive won’t save you;

therefore,

  • we’re about to see a wave of accusations hit academia that’ll make Harvey Weinstein look like a choirboy;

and therefore,

  • Once the first wave of sexual harassment claims hit, there will be a severe labor shortage in the Ivory Tower.

And from that, adios higher ed bubble.  Are you really going to go a quarter million in hock to send your precious little Stacy off to the barn where the few remaining classes are taught (by only the most desperate job-hungry losers), knowing it’s 100% certain she’ll be almost raped?

College kids today act as if — no, scratch that, they demonstrably believe, with all their hearts and souls — they deserve a gold star and a cookie just for rolling out of bed in the morning.  They have no idea that “hard work” and “success” aren’t the same thing (and their definition of “hard work” is “putting the PlayStation on pause and only responding to the most important text messages for twenty minutes while googling up something to copy-paste”).  Anything less than an A+ is a catastrophe, and by definition nothing’s their fault, so they’ll do whatever it takes to correct this gross injustice…

… and, not coincidentally, get heaped with praise for striking yet another blow for Social Justice.  They’re all mouth-frothing Marxists, these eggheads, but not even Marxists are dumb enough to miss which way this wind is blowing.  Right now they’re at the “Denial” stage of grief — it’s only a few creepy CisHetPat white males who are getting accused, and they deserve it! — but it’s already shading into anger (I know it’s hard for the uninitiated to tell, but trust me, the shrill blue haired brigade is getting even shriller, and yeah I didn’t think that was possible either, but there it is).  What’s left?  Bargaining?  They know better — after all, they’re the ones who spent all of freshman year teaching the blue-haired nose-ringers how to dye their hair blue and pierce their septums.  Depression?  They’re already maxed to the max on Prozac.  All that’s left is acceptance…

….and finding another job.  Get ready for the Great Ivory Tower Cat Lady Exodus.  I’m penciling it in for 2021.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Pop Goes the Higher Ed Bubble!

  1. Al from da Nort

    Sev;
    You’re on the front lines so you’d know. But come on: Can it really be true that college girls, especially freshmen college girls, actually believe that there is a statistical near certainty is that they’ll be raped in college (1 in 5 chances/year X 4+ years) and yet cheerfully go anyway_? And their parents are OK with this_? They have to know that this is all BS, right_? (The economics could be another matter, though.)

    I mean, much as I like your idea of the collapse of the Prog Hive’s queen factory, isn’t there a vast dark pool of cellar-inhabiting adjuncts eager to replace any privileged Prog Profs that get caught up in #Me Too_?

    Seriously, you’re right about long running sexual abuse of students, particularly grad students, by profs. The dam appeared to break in the late ’60s while I was yet a student myself. Of course, quite a bit of it was done by bi’s in the drama department. (Not my department.) Similar power dynamics to Hollywood, after all.

    Reply
    1. Severian Post author

      Al,

      re: Statistics, I was probably being more allusive than I should’ve been. Agreed that nobody actually believes the “5 out of every 3 college girls is raped” baloney, least of all the people who push the stat the hardest. The link for “almost raped” goes to Encyclopedia Dramatica, a site dedicated to making fun of this type of thing (in extremely poor taste, but funny). As it turns out, “almost raped” means “a guy I wasn’t 100% attracted to tried to talk to me once.”

      Re: cellar-dwelling adjuncts, well, that’s me. 🙂 Sort of. (My cellar is actually a nicely furnished basement). The thing is, as adjuncts actually teach the vast majority of American college classes anyway, they’ll be among the first ones hit with the new #MeToo. The fully tenured are rarely on campus — they’re mostly doing “research sabbaticals” that last their entire careers — and this is truer the higher up the academic food chain one goes. Friends in the Ivy League say you’ve got a better chance of spotting an honest-to-god Yeti on campus than a full professor.

      Re: the sexual abuse that’s already ongoing, prof – grad student is the stereotype, and I have no doubt it happens. A LOT, if even half the stuff I’ve heard is true (and I’m not exactly in the gossip pipeline). But it’s such a small world; I’ve never heard of one of these relationships that wasn’t a relationship — weird, maybe, like most ivory tower things are, but straight up sex-for-grades just doesn’t happen in grad school.

      The kind of thing I’m talking about, that I anticipate seeing a LOT of in the next few years, is the blackmail running the other way — “give me an A on this paper or I’ll accuse you of sexual harassment.” As folks on campus have no due process rights, no standards of evidence, and “rape” is “anything that made me feel temporarily uncomfortable,” this is a very serious threat indeed. Even if you’re standing under a security camera that’s broadcasting to YouTube live, it’d take an administrator with a spine to tell the false accuser to pack sand… and “administrator with a spine” is the biggest academic oxymoron of them all.

      Reply
  2. Al from da Nort

    Sev;
    I guess I missed your point about the reverse blackmail scenario. So is the collapse mechanism you postulate going to be driven by male instructors refusing to enroll female students under any circumstances_? Because, under that scenario, that’s the only way to be safe, it would seem. That or mandatory on-line classes only for females. The latter really could collapse the system, I’d guess, since the entire sham would be made obvious.

    Re student-prof romances: I thought #Me Too was also mostly about ‘relationships’ later gone wrong (or, as you suggest via your link, just plain old attention whoring). So why would Big U be immune_?

    But the moment is not likely to last ’til 2021. Hollywood is already regrouping and counter-attacking as we blog. I think I read that Weinstein’s lawyer is making the argument in court that knowingly trading sex for screen work does not constitute sexual harassment. Because, after all, it’s mostly just like prostitution: voluntary and transactional.

    The trial scene almost writes itself. “Now then Ms Once-fresh-faced Bimbo, knowing your own transparent aspirations and knowing my client’s reputation, just what did you *think* was going to happen when he invited you up to his room_? Weren’t you just dishonestly hoping to get the role without paying the toll_?”

    Reply
    1. Severian

      Yes, that’s what I think will happen. Big U has really backed itself into a corner — “rape,” on campus, really does mean something like “he looked at me in a way I found vaguely uncomfortable,” and there are zero due process considerations (look what happened at UVa – not a shred of proof for Jackie’s claims, and ALL frats are still on probation!). And since being a Leftist in good standing won’t save you — and since lesbian profs are very, very, veeeeeeery OUT — it won’t be long until “sexual harassment” threats are made against female profs, too.

      I don’t think Big U relationships are immune to #MeToo. But since academia is such a small little world, a #MeToo type accusation is bound to start a civil war inside the department; there’s no “hush up and settle.” At least, that would be the case in prof/grad student “relationships.” Prof/undergrad relationships happen a lot, too — or used to, at any rate — but given the extreme social awkwardness of everyone involved (even seemingly well-adjusted Millennials are social retards), they probably don’t even make it to the “relationship” stage anymore before someone gets creeped out and dimes them to the administration.

      I for one am fine with “the Weinstein defense,” if that is in fact what they’re going with. I thought it was kinda just a given that everyone on screen got at least one role via horizontal audition. Let’s get that out in the open….

      Reply
  3. P_Ang

    When I worked in Law Enforcement 25 years ago, They (the Royal They) used to make the claim that “50% of rapes went unreported!!!!” Meanwhile, in the real-world (or maybe the blue tower…sapphire tower?), it was generally accepted that 50% of reported rapes were actually false accusations. Not the rather hilarious ED quote Sev gave, but more along the lines of, “yeah, I slept with that guy, but then I didn’t really enjoy it, and I realized he was a beta afterwards, plus he has money, and my girlfriends are like ‘you slept with HIM?!’, so I’m just going to claim rape.”

    I asked a friend still on the force a few months ago if the 50% false accusations was still the “accepted” number, and he says now they claim 40% of reported rapes are FA’s, although the shriekers still continue to claim that 50% of ‘rapes’ go unreported…

    Reply
    1. Severian

      I have no idea what the numbers actually are (and I doubt they could be found in any case), but I do know this: If you post about it on a blog before you go to the cops, it ain’t rape. If you only start calling it rape after a sustained education campaign by friends and professors, it ain’t rape.

      “Mattress Girl” is the paradigm case. She was texting the guy for, what, two or three weeks after the “rape,” including pleas to “fuck me in the butt”? Ummmm, no, that’s not rape, sweetie. That’s sour grapes after a pump-n-dump. Happens all the time (and heaven only knows where he got the idea that you were DTF, perhaps in the butt [rolls eyes sarcastically]).

      The problem on campus is, I’d wager that most feminist faculty think the guy got what he deserved, whether or not he did it… in fact, he deserved it even if — especially if! — he didn’t actually do it. Because “rape culture.”

      Bottom line: There’s a very vocal group of influential people on campus, for whom such false rape accusations aren’t only seen as unproblematic, but actually good! How, then, can they possibly object when those accusations are turned on them? Right now it’s just obviously schizophrenic creepazoids who are getting #MeToo’d, but you know, first they came for Hugo Schwyzer, and I said nothing, because Hugo Schwyzer was a scumbag who really did the shit he was accused of….

      Reply
  4. bob sykes

    Last fall my wife broke her foot, and so I spent the most of the fall and part of January driving her to her faculty job at a small, selective Midwestern liberal arts college. The college is 40 miles aways so I spent the days in her office and roaming around the campus, when weather permitted.

    Two things struck me. The first was the predominance of women as students and faculty. This was, in effect, a women’s college.

    Second was the hive mind. Every faculty office door sported the same progressive posters. The exact same ones. There was some variety in how they were arranged. The whole atmosphere was oppressive, but my wife, a lefty (don’t ask), didn’t even notice. Fish in water.

    Another noticeable feature of the college was the large number of black students, some 10% of the student body. If selective admissions were applied uniformly, one would expect that only 1 to 2% of the students would be black.

    My wife, now in her final year of teaching (thank God!) complains regularly about truly bad, stupid, cheating students in her classes. She is aware that nearly all of them are black, but she works to suppress this knowledge, and generally succeeds.

    Reply
    1. nightfly

      Self-preservation.

      If she teaches six sections and has (spitballing here) 120 students, by your estimate, 12 would be black. Let’s say that six of them cheat and she reports them all, people will shriek that she’s a racist because she accused 50% of her black pupils of being cheaters. It wouldn’t matter if she also caught six other kids cheating and reported them all, too… nor would it matter if the proof were incontrovertible. And what would happen if those are the only six kids who were cheating on her assignments?

      Yeah.

      This is where the red pill ought to take root – why, exactly, must she suppress this knowledge? Why are her bona fides as an honest professor and Lefty In Good Standing not enough to refute the false claim of racism that would surely ensue?

      Reply
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