Scrubbing Santa Claus

He was dressed all in organic cotton, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were nothing special, just the way YOU might look;
His skin was not really white, brown or black,
And he looked like a worker just opening his pack.
His eyes — they looked blankly! His expression not Merry!
His cheeks by his nose, and his nose he did carry!
His droll little mouth sat straight just below;
May not’ve had a beard  — doesn’t matter you know;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
But he burned nothing in it — Bad for you! Good grief!;
He had a plain face and an average belly,
That shook, when he laughed when he listened to Nelly.
He was not tall or short, fat or thin like an elf,
I ‘m not quite sure I saw him, in spite of myself;

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About philmon

Part mountain junkie, part decent amateur photographer, part survivalist, part not-so-decent amateur musician, part sysadmin. Husband, step-dad, grandpa, and music freak who digs mechanical clocks, barometers, and Gil Elvgren pinups. Studied Meteorolgy & Computer Science. And the U.S. Constitution.

One thought on “Scrubbing Santa Claus

  1. nightfly

    Well done. Reminds me of “The Night Before Solstice” from “Politically Correct Christmas Stories”. Forgot who wrote that, it was in the early 90’s. I do remember that the college paper reviewer mistook them for an earnest attempt at PC and couldn’t understand why the author seemed to undermine his own position. I also remember what the author’s Santa cried out as he flew off with his reindeer and sleigh: “Happy Christmas to all, and get over yourselves!”

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