I love it when Stacy McCain pimp-slaps the feminists. It always gets me thinking. In this case, I’m thinking: Who actually likes feminism?

Aside from a certain subspecies of drama queens and attention whores, I mean, i.e. those almost-cute-enough-to-get-by-on-their-looks-but-not-quite gals that Nightfly described so eloquently here. They’re neither attractive nor interesting enough to get noticed any other way (you can tell, because seriously you guys men are totally ogling them, like, all the time. Literally). But as you need to try very hard to not be at least kinda cute when you’re college age, that’s a thankfully small demographic. So… does anyone else actually like feminism?

Guys don’t, obviously. It’s been a while since I was in the dating market, but even back then this lunacy threatened to turn any interaction with a woman into a dick-measuring contest. She’s live-chatting your small talk to 3,000 of her closest Twitter followers, just in case you’re the kind of psycho stalker who would abduct a catch like her while meeting up in a public place at high noon.

But women don’t like it either, as evidenced by Trump’s winning the majority of white female voters. As women are much more socially attuned, and there’s a considerable social penalty for being even a “conservative,” let alone a Trump supporter, this is like Louis XIV’s courtiers bailing out on absolute monarchy. The only way they’d vote against The Woman from the Woman Party is if they’ve concluded that feminism is a sucker bet. Ask any “cougar.”

I’ll probably take some shit for this from any women among the Six Regular Readers, but I’m confident that if Trump really wants to found his own party, and make sure it never loses another election, he should immediately create his own version of the Bund Deutscher Mädel. Give women social sanction to be feminine again, and the rest takes care of itself — no more Pajamaboys, no more Bronies, no more whatevers calling xyrzelves “xyr.” Suicide rates would crater, birth rates would skyrocket, and two young folks will be able to make googly eyes at each other without needing three cameras and a lawyer present.

What’s not to love?

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6 thoughts on “SNUL IV: You’re So SNUL

  1. Rich Whiteman

    I believe that this is why they could never really kill Barbie. Girls really do want to be girls. Once upon a time I lived in Florida, land of the older single women. All of ’em lonely, many bitter…about screwing up their golden years by being militant feminists earlier on. Except the butches, they’re different.

    All the lonely, single men had battle scars too, which is why both sides stayed lonely.

    On a lighter note, I saved 15% by switching my car insurance!

  2. P_Ang

    They may kill Barbie yet. At least, Amy Schumer might, if she gets the role for a planned “Barbie Movie.” She’s already whining that it doesn’t matter that Barbie is supposed to be thin, sexy, conservative, intelligent and funny, by golly, a hose-beast like Schumer DESERVES the role because an occasional lib thinks her rants are funny, and god forbid children get a positive role model when there are politics to be ranted about!

  3. nightfly

    I’m just shaking my head. It’s been, what – 22 years? – since Lisa Simpson went after Malibu Stacy? And now they’re going to make a movie about it?

    Amy Schumer may do far more damage to the brand than direct opposition ever did.

    1. Rich Whiteman

      The good news is, nobody’s going to go see it. The movie tanks like Ghostbustin’ Gurlz because everbody’s sick of their shit.

      God willing.

  4. Montefrío

    At the risk of being redundant, I insist again that you guys should learn Spanish (and/or Portuguese), because Latin women (on their home turf, at least) enjoy being feminine and do their best to keep their looks well into their 50s without resorting to surgery. Not talking about Mesoamericans so much: more the South American women, who are often bright, elegant and seductive without being sluttish. Those who’ve emigrated to Florida, at least the ones I know, are in great demand and bitter they are not; older guys can think back to Abbe Lane from the 50s, a prototype that still exists today.

    1. Severian

      Alas, I’m happily married, though I do have fond memories of a Paraguayan girl that… well, it was an all-too-brief moment in the sun, long ago and far away. For the single fellas among the Six Readers, though, I second that emotion.

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