Still Not Getting It

This would be cute, if it weren’t so sad: Via Ace of Spades, a hypothetical Trump-led “Patriot Party” would out-poll the GOP.

Yo: What part of THEY STOLE THE FUCKING ELECTION don’t you baboons understand?!?

Let me show you how any election involving this “Patriot Party” would go.

9:00 PM. Polls close; it’s a tight race, but the PP has a slight lead.

9:54 PM: Fox News calls the election for the Democrats.

10:02 PM: The PP lead is slightly larger.

11:09 PM: CNN, ABC, NBC, etc. call the election for the Democrats,

11:42 PM: PP lead grows slightly larger.

12:01 AM: Fox News reports a “burst pipe” at the polling station; counting suspended.

12:02 AM: Poll workers toss out the PP observers, board up the windows.

12:03 AM: Social media reports nothing, as all non-Democrat accounts have been banned.

12:04 AM: 350,000 mail-in votes are found, all for the Democrat.

8:03 AM: Fox, MSNBC, CNN, etc. assure us that all is well, and that the Democrats won in a landslide, and no you won’t be permitted to see the actual votes, what are you, some kind of conspiracy nut?

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I’m actually coming to hate these delusional CivNat Bitter Clingers more than I do the Democrats. At least the ‘Rats are honest, in their way — they’re going to fucking cheat, and then they’re going to laugh in your face. And every time, every single goddamn fucking time, the Ace of Spades crowd are going to cry about it, then vow to VOTE EVEN HARDER!!!

They’re the very definition of “useful idiots.”


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6 thoughts on “Still Not Getting It

  1. Ripple

    No, the PP wouldn’t actually win an election but would be a thorn in the side of the useless GOP.

  2. Geo. Orwell

    This gem is in the original post:

    “Related: a poll says that a clear majority of Republicans, 56%, expect Trump to remain a major political force.”

    There is no salvation for these ineducable fools.

    1. Severian Post author

      I’m really starting to think it’s genetic.

      No, seriously. I say this based on long experience of undergraduate teaching. There’s a certain subset of students that are actually fairly bright and hardworking, but who persist in making this exact kind of error. They’ll submit a rough draft of a term paper, for instance, and I’ll note that “this is a good start, but here in this section, where you discuss X, you’ve got it basically backwards. It’s actually Y, and [long explanation / clarification follows.]”

      A week passes, and Student comes back with a revised rough draft. “Ok, this is better, but you’ve still got this section here, where you say X. It’s actually Y, and again [repeat long explanation / clarification, in different terms].”

      Then the final is due, and I come to Student’s paper, and… sure enough, the section about X is still fucking there, verbatim.

      This happens too often — at least once a semester, often more — for it to be a coincidence. They’ve got something wrong with them. Hell if I know what it is, but it results in a glaring blind spot (if that isn’t an oxymoron). There’s just something, that for some reason, they just CAN’T grok it. It doesn’t compute.

      [n.b. it’s always something different, so it’s not that students in general can’t grok a specific concept. X and Y change every time].

  3. Some Guy

    A whole bunch of articles just got pusblished over the past couple of days about how china is using rectal swabs to screen for covid. So we have that whole pr campaign to look forward to. Also to the surprise of no one the leader of the fancy fellas turned out to be a fed informant.

  4. DeaconBlues

    My apologies in advance. This metaphor has been stuck in head all day. Republicans think they are the electron to the Democratic proton. But actually, Republicans fail to see that they are a down quark, not an electron, and therefore also a part of the proton. (I think a new particle is needed to describe where Democratons and Republictons, which are opposing and should be flying apart, are somehow unified by a stronger force (the avarice carrying particle, the Greedon). I call it a Washing-ton.)

  5. MBlanc46

    It’s got to be difficult, in late middle or old age, to recognize that the nation that you’ve believed all your life is the shining city on the hill, the last, best hope of mankind, that all the authorities throughout your life have told you is those things, has been hijacked by lunatics and shysters, and that the party that you’ve always believed is the defender of truth, justice, and the American Way has been in on the caper all along. Some beliefs and attitudes are too deeply embedded in the sense of self to be given up.

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