The Grand Mufti of Main Street USA

Harsh truth time: We can’t beat Trigglypuff.

That seems ridiculous.  Trigglypuff is, after all, a pathetic excuse for a human being.  But as I mentioned yesterday, it only takes a few of these critters to utterly destroy an institution.  Because here’s another thing that seems ridiculous: In all my years in academia, I never met a Social Justice Warrior that wasn’t already on the faculty.

I don’t even know if I ever actually saw one among the student body.  Oh, I’ve seen plenty of tattooed blue-haired nose-ringers.  I’ve had more than a few of them in class, in fact.  But those are just fads.  When I was in college, Liberal Arts majors dressed like basketball-playing lumberjacks.  I myself had a few flannel shirts and a sweeeeeet pair of Chuck Taylors, but I could neither fell a tree nor hit a jump shot.  The key word in the phrase “college kids” is, after all, kids.

Tl;dr — in order for a student to rat you off to the Thought Police, they first have to be paying attention.  In most of my classes, most of the time, I could’ve replaced my lectures with the juicier parts of Mein Kampf and no one would’ve noticed.

But it only takes one, because Trigglypuff is actually the Terminator — she can’t be bargained with, she can’t be reasoned with, and she absolutely WILL. NOT. STOP. until she gets what she wants.  She has 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 52 weeks in a year to get you, and she’ll use all of them — every minute, every second.  You have to sleep sometime; the Trigglypuffs of the world — who by definition have access to powerful prescription psychotropics — do not.

The harsh reality, then, is this: Since we can’t beat ’em, we have to join ’em.

I don’t mean we have to become Social Justice Warriors ourselves.  What I mean is that we need our own 24/7 on-call goon squad.  Normal people, of course, don’t join goon squads, so we need to get some abnormal people posthaste.

Hypothetically, the best way to do this is to set up one of those storefront churches that you see in the ghetto, but make it a mosque.  Muslims are, of course, the ultimate protected class — change your name to Achmed Raheem al Shabazz, swap out your ball cap for a kufi, and do whatever you like.  You can tell feminists, gays, trannies, etc. to fuck off right to their multi-pierced faces, so long as you do it in the name of the Prophet, peace be upon him.

It sounds too cynical to work, but consider the sad state of the males trapped in the “education” system.  They can’t talk to girls, because even if they’re among the dwindling minority of college girls who aren’t tatted-out, face-shrapneled shrikes, they’re still carrying around 20 years of third wave feminist indoctrination.  I can’t tell you just how rude, arrogant, and demanding most college girls were to me, and I was a professor! Nor can they talk to other guys, because on campus, the collective noun for “a group of boys” is “rape culture.”  College boys are lost, directionless, isolated.  They have no pride, because how could they?  They’ve been in the American educational system all their lives, where nobody’s different from anybody and everyone’s the best at everything.

Give that kind of guy a clear, bright-line code and watch what happens.  Give him a space in which to interact with men, as a man.  Give him a way to compete that isn’t “competitive abasement to ever-changing feminist dogma.”  Who can be the most uncompromising in the defense of his new faith?  There’s a way for everyone to excel at something when it comes to living the religious life.  Give them their pride back.

That’s how you get a “normal” goon squad.  Hypothetically, of course.

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13 thoughts on “The Grand Mufti of Main Street USA

  1. Pickle Rick

    Hey, we could always start “worshipping” Odin and the Norse gods, and completely make up whatever we want, without worrying about the desert savages poking their nose into our business. Plus we can play kickass Viking metal at Wednesday’s Norse kegger, which will attract berserkers.

    1. rwc1963

      There is always SCA/LARPing where you get to dress up like Medieval warriors and bash each other in large scale battles and drink beer and eat Turkey legs and giant pickles afterwards. The plus side guys get to practice with weapons, rumble and used to physical contact.

      Meetups can be in the guise of a Renaissance faire. Just make it a members only affair.

  2. MBlanc46

    “Identifying” as a Muslim certainly has some promise as a tactic. I’m not sure that it has much long-range viability as a tactic. Once enough otherwise normal white guys start pulling it, the folks in charge are going to get wise to it and put the kibosh on it. But it might work for a while. But the main thing that bothers me about it is that it is an admission of defeat. “We can’t beat Trigglypuff”. It means that our only hope is to find a way to keep from being hauled off to the camps until, someday, the situation changes due to its internal dynamic and there’s a chance for normal white guys to reassert themselves. If there are any left. I’m in my eighth decade. I don’t have time to wait for the Leftists to collapse Western civilization, then emerge to see what can be recovered from the rubble. If that’s all I have, I’m going to run that hose from the tailpipe to the cab, put on some Mozart, pop open a bottle of high-end champers, and start the engine. I’m not ready for that, yet. Let’s try something else, however unlikely. Like all wearing white ballcaps and hoping that we recognize one another on the street. It’s a long shot but it’s sonething that might work while I’m around to see results.

  3. Severian Post author

    I think there’s some point-missing here. Odin cults, Ren-Faires, etc. are all fine and good, BUT: You’ll be infiltrated and shut down in seconds, because Odinists, cosplayers, etc. aren’t allowed to say anything the rest of Legacy America isn’t allowed to say. You’d better have a Black lesbian goddess in your neo-Norse pantheon, and at least three gay disabled butt-kicking Captain Marvels in your Ren faire guild, or you’ll be sued out of existence.

    Muslims, on the other hand, can say and do whatever the fuck they want. E.g. “The Prophet, peace be upon him, forbids us to interact with homosexuals.” The Aloha Snackbar response to “Your toxic masculinity is creating a rape culture!” is however you say “No shit, Sherlock” in Arabic — so either hop your intersectional genderfluid ass into that black trashbag burqa or get the hell out of our mosque.

    You’ve gotta go Muzzie — it’s the only way to be sure.

  4. MBlanc46

    “You say ‘No shit, Sherlock’ in Arabic…” There’s a weak spot in the plan. Arabic is a b*tch. Even most Muslims outside of the central Arab countries never master it.

    1. Severian Post author

      Yeah, but again, we’re going to be exactly as faithful to The Prophet’s teachings as, say, Al Gore is to the “Climate Science” faith. Just as the most ardent “anti-AGW” crusaders are poetry majors who can’t add double digits without a calculator, so “not being able to read Arabic” is no barrier to being a “Muslim.”

      It’s not the religion, it’s the fact that the Muzzies are a Certified Victim Class. I’d be happy to remain a twice-a-year Christian, doing my thing on Easter and Christmas and basically ignoring it the rest of the time, if I got to tell feminists, gays, trannies, etc. to fuck off. But I don’t. Muzzies do.

      1. MBlanc46

        I’m vegetarian, so I’ve already done the no pork thing. A couple of extra wives is nice in theory*, but Mme B will have none of that. She’s also going to resist on the burqa front. Fortunately, there are no mosques close by, so I can probably beg off regular attendance. My knees are shot, so the rakas, or whatever they call them are out. I brought back a couple of nice djellabahs and a fez from Morocco, so I’m covered on the dress front. The fasting during Ramadan is out, and abstaining from alcohol is a complete non-starter. I fear that, all in all, I’ll make a very bad Muslim. Even a pretty bad ersatz Muslim.

        * Even if I had the level of horniness of my twenties, I don’t think that I could deal with more than one female. Back then, I could have handled the bedroom duties, but having to listen, or pretend to listen to them, no, never could have done that.

        1. Severian Post author

          *Just between you and me, that’s the real deal breaker. Women, children, exotic pets… they’re all nice to be around from time to time, and they make life temporarily more interesting, but anything more than an hour or two a week is bad for the blood pressure.

          But hey, I subscribe to the Elizabeth Warren Rule: 1/1082 is good enough to certify you for federal benefits purposes. So I think you’re ok if you just wear that fez from time to time. Hell, join the Shriners, too — make it a twofer.

    2. rwc1963

      You don’t need to speak Arabic to be Muslim, most Muslims can’t speak Arabic. Hence the reason many central Muslim texts are in English and other languages.

      For example you can go up to San Jose/San Rafael and find plenty of well off whites pretending to be Sufi Muslims and no one calls them out on it. They get together a couple times a week at some local mosque they bought to do their group chants and whatnot. And I guarantee you they do not act like Muslims at home. I know because I dabbled in Sufism some decades ago.

      And the mosque? it can be any building you can rent or buy. Signage can be as small as a business card stuck in the window. And if you collect enough money you can buy a group retreat in some rural area.

      It’s all about the act, The point is it allows you to meet up in meatspace undisturbed. Yeah it helps knowing some key aspects and how to chant them in Arabic like the Shahada but they are easily learned.

      The Feds will not call you on your “Muslimness” anymore than they would declare Rachael Donezal a white.

      Sadly most whites lack the flexibility to pull this off.

  5. rwc1963

    If the purpose of said organization to provide our side with muscle to intimidate the other side. Well that makes recruiting hard. The moment they beat the shit out of Triggly and her soyboy companions all hell will break loose if the assailants are white. The only way to nullify it is have them curse at the victims in terms of Koranic statement. Like ‘Allah akbar’, ‘infidel cow where is your man?’ Even then it’s iffy if they are caught and worked over.

    Here’s another tactic. Have some guys wear a anti-fa style garb with Muslim beanie, make sure they have beards and wear sun glasses. Also have them walk in groups of 2-3. That makes it more intimidating and the soyboys and bluehairs will stay the hell away from them. Cops will think they are part of the Anti-fa and stay away. This is a rip off of what the NOI and Black Panthers do.

    If stopped by campus police they will pull out their card and say that they represent the local Islamic community security force and they are upset with the college’s lack of a women’s dress code and the allowance of co-ed dorms. Say that Muslims view that as creating a unsafe space for them and it must not be tolerated. Then apologize to the cops and say they are leaving.

    Then send some form letters to the college president demanding that the college conform to the separation of men and women on campus and the imposition of a shariah compliant dress code for all women. And to top off it, demand the expulsion of all homosexuals and trans students and facility because they are unIslamic and filthy. Then followed by phone calls and a email campaign to the administrators.

    You can imagine those old Bints and house eunuchs freaking out over those demands and just wait when the blue hairs and homos get wind of it. And they will within five minutes of the form letters being delivered.

    Then leave a bunch of pamphlets on campus saying how gays, fat women, feminists and trannies are bad for society and need to be removed from campus and put in special re-education centers that even now being approved of by the college president.

    If some of our guys can draw, include some cartoons like in the old Jack Chick tracts.

    BTW make sure the stationary and pamphlets all include the addresses of the local CAIR office or Muslim students association of North America for added gravitas.

    Then sit back and watch all hell break loose.

  6. Henry

    With regards to the “women” on campus, close to 99% of them cannot communicate in the English language which makes it incredibly difficult to flirt with them, if the guy is not fluent in jargon and emojis. The “women” are also incapable of having sex, most lay there like they’re paralyzed because they fuck so often it is no longer stimulating(which i believe to be the reason sodomy has become so popular). Some of my friends have scooped up the 1% which is very encouraging, but those girls are the 1%. But I yearn for the future I am going to live in, i cant wait for the cleanse.

    1. Severian Post author

      Let me state, unequivocally and for the record, that I have never even been to first base with an undergrad since I myself was an undergrad, and that was long, long ago. Still, kids these days have no filter, so I hear and see an awful lot, and… yeah. I wouldn’t wish modern undergrad girls on my worst enemy. The gibberish alone would kill you.

      Speaking of, I suppose I should clarify: Back in my day, “first base” meant heavy kissing, some light petting. These days, it probably means “a gang bang filmed with a cell phone camera, but only tweeted privately to your 300 best friends.”

      It must be tremendously intimidating. When I was a young man, we all wore five layers of flannel and pretended to be afraid of AIDS, but underneath all that we knew ourselves and our potential mates to be normal kids, with normal-kid urges… and, crucially, normal-kid levels of experience. Maybe one partner had a bit more experience than the other, but that was no big deal since, you know, sex is supposed to be fun and part of the fun is helping the other person to have fun. (I bet you’re glad this is the internet, and you can’t see me — it’d be like getting a sex-ed lecture from your Dad). If were single now — God forbid! — I wouldn’t have the first idea how to seal the deal. “You want to stick what, in where?” It must be like dating the Marquis de Sade. Like I said, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

      1. Hank

        Its a learning experience, these types of girls often have good indicators. They wear sweatpants, or walk around with a chip on their shoulder, or act in any manner unwomanly. Immorality has done its work on them, and its obvious to me. Its ironic that you don’t wish it upon them but they wish it upon themselves.

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