Harsh truth time: We can’t beat Trigglypuff.
That seems ridiculous. Trigglypuff is, after all, a pathetic excuse for a human being. But as I mentioned yesterday, it only takes a few of these critters to utterly destroy an institution. Because here’s another thing that seems ridiculous: In all my years in academia, I never met a Social Justice Warrior that wasn’t already on the faculty.
I don’t even know if I ever actually saw one among the student body. Oh, I’ve seen plenty of tattooed blue-haired nose-ringers. I’ve had more than a few of them in class, in fact. But those are just fads. When I was in college, Liberal Arts majors dressed like basketball-playing lumberjacks. I myself had a few flannel shirts and a sweeeeeet pair of Chuck Taylors, but I could neither fell a tree nor hit a jump shot. The key word in the phrase “college kids” is, after all, kids.
Tl;dr — in order for a student to rat you off to the Thought Police, they first have to be paying attention. In most of my classes, most of the time, I could’ve replaced my lectures with the juicier parts of Mein Kampf and no one would’ve noticed.
But it only takes one, because Trigglypuff is actually the Terminator — she can’t be bargained with, she can’t be reasoned with, and she absolutely WILL. NOT. STOP. until she gets what she wants. She has 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 52 weeks in a year to get you, and she’ll use all of them — every minute, every second. You have to sleep sometime; the Trigglypuffs of the world — who by definition have access to powerful prescription psychotropics — do not.
The harsh reality, then, is this: Since we can’t beat ’em, we have to join ’em.
I don’t mean we have to become Social Justice Warriors ourselves. What I mean is that we need our own 24/7 on-call goon squad. Normal people, of course, don’t join goon squads, so we need to get some abnormal people posthaste.
Hypothetically, the best way to do this is to set up one of those storefront churches that you see in the ghetto, but make it a mosque. Muslims are, of course, the ultimate protected class — change your name to Achmed Raheem al Shabazz, swap out your ball cap for a kufi, and do whatever you like. You can tell feminists, gays, trannies, etc. to fuck off right to their multi-pierced faces, so long as you do it in the name of the Prophet, peace be upon him.
It sounds too cynical to work, but consider the sad state of the males trapped in the “education” system. They can’t talk to girls, because even if they’re among the dwindling minority of college girls who aren’t tatted-out, face-shrapneled shrikes, they’re still carrying around 20 years of third wave feminist indoctrination. I can’t tell you just how rude, arrogant, and demanding most college girls were to me, and I was a professor! Nor can they talk to other guys, because on campus, the collective noun for “a group of boys” is “rape culture.” College boys are lost, directionless, isolated. They have no pride, because how could they? They’ve been in the American educational system all their lives, where nobody’s different from anybody and everyone’s the best at everything.
Give that kind of guy a clear, bright-line code and watch what happens. Give him a space in which to interact with men, as a man. Give him a way to compete that isn’t “competitive abasement to ever-changing feminist dogma.” Who can be the most uncompromising in the defense of his new faith? There’s a way for everyone to excel at something when it comes to living the religious life. Give them their pride back.
That’s how you get a “normal” goon squad. Hypothetically, of course.Loading Likes...