Unless you’re a very new reader (in which case, welcome!) you know I worked many years in academia. Reflecting on the joys of life in a college town has helped me to understand a bit about the Leftist mind.
First, and most important, life really is pleasant in a college town — even for a deep-cover shitlord like me. In a weird way, it might even have been more pleasant for me. A Leftist has to be outraged by something to feel truly alive, but since the stuff they get outraged about is so cockeyed, so cattywampus to reality, wandering around town and watching the Very Concerned People be Concerned is like constantly being low-grade stoned. I’ve never been as worked up about anything as these people pretend to be about everything, from the plight of the three-toed stink beetle to the entire planet’s daily weather. It’s surreal, which means it’s always good for a chuckle.
Moreover, college towns cater to transient populations, so everything is on-demand. In flyover states, college towns have the only 24-hour anything within 100 miles. I’m naturally a night owl, and college towns always have somewhere to go at 2 in the morning. Add to that the “diversity” — which we all know means “different kinds of ethnic restaurants” — and you have the kind of dining / drinking / hanging out options you’d normally only find in a metro five times the size. Throw in the twitchy schizophrenic panhandlers on every corner, and you can pretend you’re in the bright lights of a big city, but without the crime.
And then there’s the rock star vibe. College kids don’t know or care about academia’s elaborate pecking order, so even though nobody who mattered in my department knew my name, I still got pointed at on the streets. It’s an odd fact of student-professor relations that the kid who acts like she’s doing you an enormous favor by deigning to attend your class will fawn over you to the exclusion of all other customers if she’s your waitress or barista. (It’s extra fun to scandalize ’em by ordering something alcoholic). You’re never anonymous in a college town, and if you’re the kind of person grew up getting ignored — if you’re a mousy little nerd, in other words, like all academics are — it’s heady stuff.
But best of all is the power. One of the main reasons Leftists have such difficulty telling the difference between “fact” and “opinion” is that they’ve never had to practice. This was true even back before Standardized Tests took over completely, but now that they have, your classroom pronouncements might as well be the Ten Commandments. I could tell a class that Napoleon’s last words at Waterloo were “Led Zeppelin rules!” and they’d copy it down without a peep…
….then spit it right back at me, verbatim, on the test. Which proves what a great professor I am — after all, everyone is acing the final exam! They must really get it, that Patriarchy is bad and Capitalism is exploitation and &c.
In a college town, in other words, every minute of every day is an opportunity to be smugly self-righteous. Who could resist? And if the rest of the world isn’t like a college town, then it must be someone’s fault!Loading Likes...