The Priesthood of All Believers

“The SJWs ye have always with you,” I’m pretty sure Jesus said at some point.  The trick is managing them.  SJWs have two primal drives:

  1. to boss people around; and
  2. to feel themselves the victim of something.

A healthy society comes up with a career track that maximizes both (for them) while doing minimal damage (to us).

In 20th century America, this was the function of the Ed Biz and its dorky, spastic little brother, the Ivory Tower.  Since kids are natural learners, this system didn’t do too much damage, provided the curriculum stayed close to the three Rs.  Meanwhile, teachers could torment their students at their leisure, while griping about being overworked and underpaid.  Remember this?


Yes, The Man is keeping you down, all right!  What with tenure, great bennies, no overtime, a captive audience, zero daily oversight, a lovely work environment (where you’re the boss!), and oh yeah, fucking summers off, not to mention a week at Thanksgiving and Easter, nearly a month at Christmas, and the eighteen zillion “inservice days” that are an hour’s worth of lecture followed by the “debriefing” down at the “teachers’ lounge.”


All while getting comped at a nice middle class salary.  This goes triple for college, which is one-third the work for three times the pay, plus private offices and no jailbait issues…. and, not coincidentally, three times the “we’re the Most Oppressed People EVAR!” whining.  It’s all by design, and provided there’s a decent economy — as there was almost all the time back in the 20th — nobody is harmed too much by spending a few months a year cooped up with these whackadoodles.

Alas, the good times are over.  Teachers still whine and bitch at astronomical rates — and profs are twenty times worse — but since we’ve all realized by now that the Ed Biz is, in fact, a BIZ, and a highly profitable one at that, all the MOPE cachet is gone… which means the SJWs can no longer fulfill part 2 of their Prime Directive.

As always, the Middle Ages had the right idea.  This is what a priesthood is for.  It’s perfect — you’re taking the world’s sins on your shoulders, plus you get to peer into the sordid private lives of your betters… and punish them!

The first thing we need to do is roll back the Reformation.  Priesthood of all believers?  Hell no.  We’ve got to get back to the days where good, socially conscious parents pledged their excess kids to the cloister when they were barely out of diapers.  You think Sasha and Malia Obama won’t be tormenting us in politics for the next 30 years?  If this were the good old days, we could deal with ’em Hamlet style — “get thee to a nunnery!”

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4 thoughts on “The Priesthood of All Believers

  1. P_Ang

    Wow, now I want to be a teacher!

    Well, no. I don’t have my MAT, and I saw the kind of crap my sister went through when she took some teacher’s courses…coddle the kids, no punishment or hint of correction of any kind, etc. etc. I just want the bennies. Now…if I could be a teacher without those damn spoiled kids, THAT would be something.

    Something like a politician…

    (PS…you and philmon need to work these out better, I almost missed it!)

    1. Severian

      Yeah I deliberately exaggerated the teachers’ lifestyle. But still — the Left really does yearn to be members of a priesthood; for a while there, teaching fulfilled that function for them. Problem is, the customer is always right, and there are two different sets of customers — the parents, and the teachers themselves (in the form of unions). Parents demand that their pwecious widdle Chads and Staceys get all As; teachers demand raises, tenure, and inservice days. So, do everything by the numbers — everyone gets As, teachers get tenure and time off, and even though it has reduced our schools to little more than juvenile detention centers, so be it, the numbers look great.

      [We don’t really coordinate anything around here. Philmon and Morgan have real jobs; I’m too lazy; so nobody’s running the show].

  2. moscanarius

    SJWs have two primal drives:
    to boss people around; and
    to feel themselves the victim of something.

    I would add two other drives:

    to feel morally superior to everyone else, usually to compensate for a lack of significant achievements (of which they are often keenly aware).

    to disguise their own racism/sexism/class hatred, which they feel deeply but cannot admit due to conflicts with the current ideology. They do this by accusing others of being what they themselves are.

    By the way, great blog. You have one more regular reader.

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