[fair warning: this post contains no actual content. I’m just venting].
This Kung Flu might turn out to be the end of the world. It really might. Stranger things have happened. But since the Media has never, ever been right about the oh-god-so-many freakouts they’ve imposed on us in the past, I know which way I’m betting. And that’s sad, because I’ve lost some friends from this pandemic.
No, they didn’t die of COVID-19. They caught a terminal case of pussy-ache, and now I can’t respect them anymore.
Curve-flatteners, call-out-the-National-Guard!-ers, curfew imposers, toilet paper hoarders, wimps and itty bitty bitches of all sorts — that’s what they turned out to be. Folks who I assumed to be reasonably level-headed and calm in a crisis just…. aren’t.
I know a guy who doesn’t trust “the Official Narrative” on anything. Yeah, he talks like that — you can hear the Capital Letters and the quotation marks whenever he talks about whatever’s on the news. Doesn’t trust the government’s story on 9/11, thinks the newspapers “lied us into war” on Iraq, dismisses “birtherism,” calls it “Faux News,” dismissed the Muller Report as propaganda, the works. And yet this same guy now treats as gospel every wild pronouncement from every 3 am shout show, because … wait for it… this time the Media can’t possibly have any political or financial motive for lying. In this one case, the same people who according to him routinely lie about everything, selling their souls for a few pennies more on Viacom’s share price, are 100% totally straight and on the level. “What, are they trying to hoax us into better health?” He actually said that.
Another guy, makes a fetish out of being an “independent.” This fellow is more than a little Libertarian-curious, and not just for the weed. This fucking guy wants the army called out to enforce a national curfew. If it reduces the possibility of infection, then he’s for it, civil liberties be damned. And here’s the real kicker: This guy knows his history. “What do you call it,” I asked him, “when a government suppresses civil liberties and closes private enterprises and generally whips up a frenzy in the name of national hygiene? And a whole bunch voters all go for it, enthusiastically, because even though they can’t actually see the bad germs doing bad stuff, they just know they’re responsible for all the nation’s ills? Any of this ringing a bell?”
His response? “Fuck you, this is different.”
I swear to god, I sure wish self-righteousness killed the corona virus. 99.8% of the population would be totally immune. Crash the economy, trash the Constitution, implement neverending martial law — do whatever, so long as we get to preen and parade on social media, getting retweeted and upvoted for being so ostentatiously panicked. Obesity probably kills more people in New York City alone than Kung Flu has killed worldwide, but if some NYC mayor — Mini Mike Bloomberg, let’s say — tried to ban carbohydrates, these very same ex-friends of mine would be out there screaming about creeping fascism. Fuck a vaccine for COVID-19, get these whiny little hoes some fucking Vagisil — it’ll do ’em a lot more good.Loading Likes...