The Rotten Chestnuts Betting Pool

Waaay back in the days, “reporter” Nina Burleigh said she’d “be happy to give [Bill Clinton] a blowjob just to thank him for keeping abortion legal. I think American women should be lining up with their Presidential kneepads on to show their gratitude for keeping the theocracy off our backs.”

Which was fun.  The followup, a few sentences down in that Wiki writeup, is even better:

Referring to the comment in a 2007 piece for The Huffington Post, Burleigh wrote, “I said it (back in 1998, but a good quote has eternal life) because I thought it was high time for someone to tweak the white, middle-aged beltway gang taking Clinton to task for sexual harassment. These men had neither the personal experience nor the credentials to know sexual harassment when they saw it, nor to give a good goddamn about it if they did. The insidious use of sexual harassment laws to bring down a president for his pro-female politics was the context in which I spoke.”

These days, it seems like a lot of men — all of them bigshots in the Democratic Party — have both the experience and the credentials to know sexual harassment.  And they certainly give a good goddamn about it, since it’s ruining their careers as we speak.  Given that, and given that Nina Burleigh was only saying what every Liberal in America was thinking, how long will it be before the Left rediscovers good ol’ red-blooded heterosexuality?  That “everybody does it”?  That she (or he) was “asking for it”?

Viddy well, spergs: I’m not saying I’m ok with sexual harassment.  These guys — Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Al Franken — are clearly weirdos and perverts.  Grabbing a sleeping chick by the knockers is wrong; all the other stuff these guys (allegedly) did is much worse.  What I am saying — pay attention now, this is the important part — is that,

  • since the Democratic Party is full of these people, and
  • purging the pervs would leave the Donks with about five viable candidates nationwide, and
  • that’s saying nothing about fundraisers, bagmen, and fixers like Weinstein,

therefore

  • their only viable survival strategy is to discover some way to make this behavior “ok.”

The “Burleigh Rule” won’t cut it here.  Back in the 90s, Liberals got their loins aflutter by imagining Newt Gingrich et al constantly lobbing anti-abortion measures at the White House, where Bill Clinton, no doubt greased up and shirtless, batted them all away like the world’s sexiest Patriot missile battery.  But hardly anyone, Lefties included, even remembers that Al Franken is a senator; his legislative record is less than impressive (though political jokesters really should have a field day with the “Fond du Lac Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Non-Intercourse Act of 2013”).  Saying “we need Al Franken in the Senate to keep the theocracy off our backs” is too shameless even for Liberals.

Nor will “we need him in the Senate to keep Trump off our backs” cut it, because

trump

Remember that?  Remember the omigod everloving freakout about that, compared to which the discovery of a cancer cure would rate maybe a paragraph on page 32?  Yeah sorry, Stuart Smalley, being anti-Trump won’t save you now.  I know, I know, Liberals have absolutely no sense of shame, but defending one pussy-grabber’s pussy grabbing in order to thwart another pussy-grabber — this one without photographic grope mementos — will get them laughed out of public life.  And that goes double for a guy like Harvey Weinstein, a pussy-grabber who merely runs bag for the Pussygrabber Party.  (And that goes triple for guys like Kevin Spacey, who (allegedly) bum-raped a minor.  There’s not enough Astroglide in the world to lube that transition).

So what to do?  Again, the only way to stay viable as a political party, according to the rules they themselves created and have so vigorously enforced lo these many years, is to somehow make this stuff “ok.”  Always believe the woman, right?  No means no, right?  “Affirmative consent,” for pete’s sake?  One way or another, that stuff is going right out the window with the audition tapes from the Weinstein Company.

My (trite, obvious) guess is that the Left will craft themselves a victim narrative.  Here in the next few months, we’ll hear calls for a “national conversation” on the pitfalls of power.  Nobody’s saying Al Franken should’ve done that — of course he shouldn’t! — but the poor dear, stressed out from his heroic defense of the Constitution, fell victim to the most insidious disease of all, the disease of being a member of the ruling body of the most powerful nation on Earth.  Who wouldn’t grab a sleeping woman’s hooters under those conditions?  He needs therapy.  Fortunately, our friends in academia have come up with a kind of therapy he can do in his off hours, or even on his own, in his Senate office.  Stepping down would, in fact, be counterproductive, as he needs to learn to channel those urges — normal, red-blooded heterosexual urges, there’s nothing wrong with those! — into more “appropriate” behaviors, and the only way he’s going to learn how to do that effectively in the corridors of power is to remain in the corridors of power….

What do you think, Seven Regular Readers?  Let’s get a betting pool going.  If one of you tech types will volunteer to do the math, we can get some odds worked out and a March Madness-type bracket set up.  Let me know your guess in the comments!

 

2 thoughts on “The Rotten Chestnuts Betting Pool

  1. Well it’s not a bet I’ll take, seeing as how it is already underway and being used against the Left’s tribal enemies already. Well it is here in the UK.

    It’s all just going straight into the continuing narrative line that straight white heterosexual males are the enemy and that women, gays and ethnic minorities need to get out from under their oppression. Hell, they are still running the rule of the patriarchy line here even though our Head of State is a woman, our Head of Government is a woman, the Head of our Supreme Court is a woman, the senior police office is a woman, as is the Head of the Home Office (think Homeland Security, the FBI, the ciminal justice system and control of borders all rolled into one), etc., etc..

  2. Recusant is probably right about that. They’ll just double-down, call it “old news”, “Move-On” and such, we need to “get” the evil pussy grabber in the White House before he rapes more “immigrants”.

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