Will *This* be on the Test?

Over the holidays I, like most people, had to deal with a dumbass family member of the opposite political persuasion.  Lots of them, actually, since my people are blue-collar, salt-of-the-earth types — voting Democrat is in their DNA.  You know the kind I mean.  Half of them still think it’s 1935 and only that nice Mr. Roosevelt is keeping the revenuers from foreclosing on Pappy’s farm.  The other half have a photo of the Pope and JFK hanging in the kitchen, and still marvel at how nice His Holiness was, letting St. John XXIII be in the picture like that.  The kind of folks who voted for Obama, in other words, to prove how racist they weren’t… and meant it.

Because I’m a reasonable, accommodating, go-along-to-get-along kind of guy, I let them all give me their pitch.  But since that amounted, in its entirety, to #OrangeManBad, I did what any competent historian would do: I went to the primary sources, which in this case are the various candidates’ campaign ads.  This is the stuff they most want me to know about them and their brand.  I’m not going to link to the ads — I love y’all, but I’m only going through that torture once.  Look ’em up yourself, or just take me at my word….

Elizabeth Warren promises heap big free shit, of course, but also to pass “the biggest anti-corruption measure since Watergate.”  Which is an interesting way of phrasing it, since “Watergate” was the name of the scandal, not the name of a piece of legislation, but forget it, he’s rolling.  I’d guess that our intrepid law professorette is referring to the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, which is the only significant anti-corruption legislation I remember coming out of Watergate, but for obvious reasons she don’t wanna go there — after umpteen-many weeks of sham-peachment, even the lowest-info rubes are starting to cotton to the fact that the Democrats’ foreign corrupt practices are at the heart of everything.

“Corruption,” indeed, seems to be the touchstone for a lot of the Dems’ campaign ads.  You know, for folks who are supposedly running against each other — that is, trying to make the case as to why you should vote for xzhym over all the other fightin’ fightin’ White septuagenarians — they all have remarkably consistent message discipline.  Even no-hopers like Tom Steyer bang on about it in their spots.

Steyer, in fact, is the guy who got me thinking about standardized tests in the first place.  I know, I know, that’s a [record scratch] moment if ever there was one, but bear with me.  Steyer has an ad where he touts his business acumen as the reason he can “expose” Trump on the economy — Trump is “a fraud and a failure,” Steyer proclaims.  See here, from Steyer’s “gosh, is it 1998 already?” official website.

Again, that’s an, ummm, interesting approach.  I seem to recall Hillary trying the ol’ “Trump’s casino went bankrupt!” thing back in 2016, and while I realize that History begins anew each dawn for the Left, it can’t have escaped so financially savvy a guy as Tom Steyer that a) “Trump’s casino going bankrupt” and “the economy of the entire United States” aren’t synonyms, and b) the aforesaid economy of the entire United States is the best it has been since at least the end of World War II, if not the best ever.

I know, I know: the best on paper.  But I saw a survey recently on Ace of Spades or someplace that something like 80% of Americans are hopeful on the economy these days, which according to all the canons of political “science” means the Dems might as well not even bother running a candidate.  And you don’t have to be Sun Tzu to realize that attacking an enemy at his strongest, most fortified point is a bad idea.  And yet, here we are….

Admittedly Steyer is a no-hoper, polling around 1% nationally.  And that’s as reported by CNN, which means — what with the margin of error and all — that his support is effectively zero.  But “corruption” and “the economy” seem to be the talking points of the day — Warren and Biden and Buttigieg are out there banging away on them, too.  It’s like they can’t help themselves….

See also: The Media and the Left’s (BIRM, of course) mighty morphin’ outrage over the Iraq Embassy attack.  In less than 24 hours, we’ve seen their criticism of Trump go from “not forceful enough!” to “way too forceful!,” with them cheering all the while for American casualties to make Trump look bad.  Like the “corruption” and “economy” tactics, it’s simply flabbergasting that anyone, anywhere, would think this will work.  Not even “history begins anew each dawn” can save them here, since it’s the same people saying diametrically opposite things within the space of a few hours.  There’s simply no explanation, save one:

Standardized tests.  As the “smart” ones, Liberals have gone all-in on making good grades in school.  Which, as everyone knows, these days means “gaming the test” — find out what teacher wants to hear, and repeat it verbatim.  There is, and ever can be, only one right answer to all possible questions; “education” is the rote memorization of the Correct Answers.  Trump is a Republican, and therefore the economy must be terrible.  He’s a businessman, and businessmen are all shady operators, therefore corruption must be a thing.  He’s a Republican, so any military action he takes is too much, while any military action he doesn’t take is too weak.  It’s just standardized test mad libs, over and over and over again.

And there’s a better than even chance one of them will end up President this year.  Happy new year!  And if that’s not enough to bring you down, remember that I taught college for years.  Do you know how many of my former students went on to med school, law school, nursing school?  Yeah.  Suicide is painless….

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